Your Politicians, Translated

by Conor McKeon on June 25, 2008

Simply roll your mouse over the text to reveal its true meaning!

Once elected, I will immediately begin working for you.

Once elected, I will immediately begin working on getting re-elected.

I am constantly reminded of a single mother of four I met on the campaign trail.

I am constantly reminded by my campaign manager to mention poor people in my speeches.

My opponent is an elitist who is out of touch with the average American.

My opponent has a yacht that is 10 feet longer than mine.

Being born an American has given me opportunities most can never dream of.

Being born a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant has given me opportunities most can never dream of.

I can't thank you enough for your support.

I can't thank you enough for your money.

I approved this message.

...Unless you didn't like it. Then I had nothing to do with it.

I'm going to fight for each and every one of you.

I'm going to generalize you all into one big group, then do whatever I want.

My faith is important to me.

My faith is as important to me as you want it to be.

Those words were taken out of context.

Sh*t.

Recording...

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