Why Superheroes Shouldn't Have Girlfriends

by Brian Murphy on June 27, 2008
Woman: Help! Someone stole my purse.
Captain Power: Fear not, citizen! For I am Captain Pow-
Girlfriend: Oh my GOD! You DID NOT just hit on someone in front of me!
CP: Chill babe...I'm just doing my job.
GF: Why do you want to help her anyway? Do you think she's pretty?
CP: No, of course not.
GF: Yeah, REAL convincing.
CP: Come on, don't be mad. Please, babe?
GF: You always do this, Joe. You KNOW I've been totally stressing out about not having an outfit for Saturday.
W: He's getting away!
GF: *cough* SLUT *cough*
W: Please! Help me!
CP: He's almost out of sight. But if I use my super speed I ca-
GF: *sigh*
CP: What's that about?
GF: Nothing.
CP: Are you pissed? You look like you're pissed.
GF: I'm fine.
CP: You're pissed. Can you please just tell me why so I can go catch the criminal?
GF: I'm not mad, I'm just upset.
CP: Well, it's the same thing.
GF: It is NOT the same thing!
CP: Hang on, Chief Harrison is calling!
GF: *sigh*
CP: Chief? Yeah, it's me. Terrorists have taken over Town Hall!?
GF: You KNOW what tonight is.
CP: Yeah, sorry Chief. Gonna have to sit this one out. I'm celebrating my 3 and a half month anniversary tonight. We're gonna watch Grey's Anatomy on DVD. I'd cancel, but she's really looking forward to it.
GF: We're really looking forward to it.
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