A Conversation With a Man Who Only Talks in Beatles Song Titles

by Goroman on July 14, 2008

MWOTIBST: Good Morning, Good Morning.
Me: Hey buddy, how's it going?
MWOTIBST: Getting Better.
Me: That's good, walk down this hallway with me and we'll talk.
MWOTIBST: Something in the Way.
Me: Oh that's just an empty box, I'll move it.
MWOTIBST: Wait.
Me: Oh yeah, go ahead and tie your shoe. So, when are you and your fiancée planning on tying the knot?
MWOTIBST: When I'm Sixty-Four.
Me: Wow that's really planning ahead. What was her name again?
MWOTIBST: Sexy Sadie.
Me: That's um... unique. Where is she anyway?
MWOTIBST: Back in the U.S.S.R.
Me: Oh, so she's one of those mail-order brides, eh? So how's school going?
MWOTIBST: Helter Skelter.
Me: Well that's not good.
MWOTIBST: I'm So Tired.
Me: Maybe you should take a nap...
MWOTIBST: I'll Cry Instead.
Me: ...alright.

MWOTIBST: I'm a Loser.
Me: There's no need to get down on yourself,
(Phone rings)
MWOTIBST: (Answers phone) It's For You.
Me: Why would someone call your phone for me? (Into phone) Hello? (To MWOTIBST) it's your girlfriend, I'm pretty sure she wants to talk to you.
MWOTIBST: Keep Your Hands Off My Baby!
Me: No need to get angry, YOU gave me the phone, you're acting a little weird today.
MWOTIBST: She Loves You.
Me: Who?
MWOTIBST: Sexy Sadie.
Me: What? I don't even know her!
MWOTIBST: It's Only Love.
Me: Alright, you really need to get checked out, you're acting crazy.
MWOTIBST: Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey.
Me: ...okay...
MWOTIBST: I Want to Hold Your Hand.
Me: Sorry buddy, I'm not into that kind of thing.
MWOTIBST: Why Don't We Do It In The Road?
Me: I told you I'm not into that, it's not going to happen, especially not in the road.
MWOTIBST: I am the Walrus.
Me: Alright, you?re nuts. I'm taking you to the mental hospital.
MWOTIBST: Drive My Car.
Me: Okay, we can take your car I guess.
MWOTIBST: Help!
Me: I'm going to get you help, don't worry.
MWOTIBST: Hold Me Tight.
Me: I Will.