
Me: Josh.
Nurse: And you pregnant?
Me: Huh.
Nurse: I know this is sensitive. Take your time.
Me: I'm not pregnant. In fact, I'm sure I'm not pregnant.
Nurse: Be honest.
Me: I'm a man! I physically cannot give birth.
Nurse: Look hon, you don't have to tell me you're pregnant. I can tell. You have that attitude.
Me: The what? The pregnant attitude? Is that an attitude?
The doctor comes in.
Doc: Excuse me. Nurse? You're in the wrong room.
Me: ...
Nurse: I know you're pregnant.
The nurse leaves.
Doc: Sorry about that. We needed your nurse in the room over, where your friend Dave is giving birth.
Me: He's just fat! Dave! DAVE!!
by Scott McDowell
by Josh Rosenthal at Harvard
by Streeter Seidell at Fordham
Georgia is no longer friends with Russia.
A hip-hop tribute to life's most uncomfortable moments.
This suit looks like it's covered in rollerblade wheels that allow the man to travel frighteningly fast down the Swiss Alps. The best thing about this whole operation is how obviously safe it is.
"...Also, that scene in Half Past Dead where I break the drug dealer's neck in 9 places is a thinly veiled Buddhist allegory."
A CEO's wife faces the wrath of her husband's co-workers.
Water has nothing to do with it, he's moving with pure inertia.
and liquor