Let's face it, guys love girls. In fact, guys love girls so much, those who are lucky enough to have women will still ditch them for a nice computer sit-down. Well that's inevitable, but how do you keep your girlfriend from finding your bookmark folder labeled "sexy town"? These steps will help.
1. Use friends computer.
Ex. "Hey John, listen my network is down, can I use your iPod Touch?"
"Sure, but didn't you already borrow Nick's?"
"Yeah, I guess he didn't like the new background I gave him...or the large amount of white stuff."
"What?"
"Oh I spilled ice cream on it while I was jacking off."
2. Use Magazines
Ex. Instead of purchasing the periodicals at a local news stand or at a Barns & Noble (seriously who buys them there?), get them from that guy in your family who doesn't come to popular events like Christmas, but will oddly show up at your sisters 16th birthday. He's there for two reasons, first, your sister's friends are hot. Second, he needs to get rid of his stash and he knows you have a fire place.
3. Online Clothing Stores
Ex. Why bother screwing up your computer with ton's of spy ware? Just head on over to Victoria's Secret. There are plenty of half naked women, it won't cost you anything, and there are definitely photos of them naked somewhere. American Appearl is another good choice who have actually hired porn stars to model. Plus they always have the occasional photograph that just happened to have the flash on, which also happened to make it through the tank top the girl was wearing (never a bra, never a problem). If the girlfriend asks why her history is full of these sites, you were buying her sexy outfits because your love life needs a refreshing dip in the pool of sexy (use that line exactly).
4. Facebook
Ex. Friend some hot girl you've met once at a party. You get the satisfaction of knowing the girl you're wacking the weasel too (which I hear can be a turn on), and she get's the pleasure of having that bumper sticker about guys jacking off to her pictures finally come true.
5. The End Game
Ex. If all else fails, and for some reason you just can't get your girlfriend to stay out of your bathroom, there is one final thing you can do. Actually have sex with her. Yes I know, "she won't do anything those girls on the internet will." Well that's true, so during the act of consummating, just duck tape a video iPod to her face that's currently playing all the underwater scenes from Into the Blue...Jessica Alba is hot.
by Matt
by Caldwell Tanner
by Marina Cockenberg
"ur just jelly cuz ur a ghost and can't tap that"
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