RA: Hey Tom, how's it going!?! If you're hungry I think me and some other people are heading downstairs to the caf to grab some dinner.
Dad: Jason, for the last time, don't call me "Tom," just stick to "Dad." And another thing, why are you always asking me if I want to go to dinner with you and these "other people" you talk about? You know we always eat together as a family.
RA: Sounds great Tom! Well maybe after dinner we can all get together and paint some bricks and use them as door stops.
Dad: That's another thing Jason, why are you always asking your mother and me to partake in these activities? I'm not interested in attending a tie-dying party; stop asking.
Mom: Boys, dinner's ready!
RA: Oh hey Karen, how's it going!?! How'd that history final go?
Mom: What are you talking about Jason? Ever since you came home from school for the summer, you've been acting very odd.
Dad: Your mother's right son, I think we need to sit down and have a talk.
RA: Awesome! Works for me, you guys know about my open-door policy: anytime you have something you need to talk to me about, day or night, I'm always here.
Dad: Speaking of doors, your mother and I would appreciate it if you stop putting signs on our bedroom door; it's bad for the paint. I don't need a picture of a Nintendo controller with my name on it.
Mom: We're just concerned honey, that's all. I think it would be best for the whole family if you stopped telling your little sister to turn her music down at night because "quiet hours are in effect." She said that you have given her several "warnings" and that if she is caught one more time she could be kicked out of the house. Why would you say such a thing?
RA: Speaking of warnings, last night when everyone was sleeping I checked in the mini-fridge in the basement and found a few beers. I'm sorry Tom, but I'm going to have to write you up for this. You have to dump these out in the bathroom sink while I watch.
Dad: That's it Jason, go to your room!
RA: Anybody want to buy my hanging loft?
by Jeff Rosenberg at NYU
by Shawn Dobbins at University of Wisconsin - La Crosse
by Scott McDowell
Things look a little different when you're intoxicated...
A cavalcade of Hollywood stars give Americans a dozen reasons not to visit the polls this November.
Fight Club, Home Alone and your other favorite films just got a lot shorter.
"The American People are attending Economic Crisis '08"
Wanna see a magic trick? I'll make your retirement funds... disappear...
I cant wait for this to hit north America...
read it
Everyone has one, if not many, pseudo-friends. Odds are that not only do you have them, you are one yourself. A pseudo-friend is an acquaintance that you have around campus that you used to have a close relationship with, but aren't even on speaking terms anymore.
Eli goes to have a little fun and ends up getting a little surprise.