A Meeting of the Food Network Chefs

by Daniel Eric Lopez on July 18, 2008

Bobby Flay: Welcome everybody! I'm glad you could all make it to tonights meeting.
Paula Deen: Well thank ya hon! I'm so glad that I could make it.
Gina Neely: Thanks baby!
Pat Neely: Yeah, thanks-
Gina Neely: Shut up
Rachael Ray: T-Y!
Giada De Laurentiis: Just look at my clevage. Please?
Bobby Flay: So we need to decide the future of Food Network. Lets hear some ideas for future shows.
Mario Batali: I think we should deversify our shows so we can attract a larger audience, and in turn bring in more money.
Alton Brown: Um, I guess that would work if you were STUPID! We definitely need more shows that are more informative on the historyof what we cook. And a completely different show style too. Like, morelike an actual show. I used to be a director? Please? ... Nevermind.
Tyler Florence: I think the way we are going now is fine. Especially if it has more of my recipes in it.
Rachael Ray: We defeinitely need to make more mentioning of E-V-O-O and S and P.
Paula Deen: We definitely need more butter in our shows.
Bobby Flay: And I think we need to have more shows with me in them! It appears that we are all in dissagreement here.
Giada De Laurentiis: I think the amount of clevage I show is just fine.
Bobby Flay: I agree with that. So what should we do with our other shows?
Emiril Lagasse: BAM!!!
Bobby Flay: Hey hey hey, you don't have a show here anymore. You have to leave, Emiril.
Emiril Lagasse: Bam... (Leaves)
Bobby Flay: Can he say anything else? Alright, where were we?
Alton Brown: I think we were at the point... where we ask Marc Summers for his infinte wisdome.
Everyone: (Gasps)
Rachael Ray: He's H-O-T.
Bobby Flay: Let me summon him. (kneels to the statue of Marc Summers) Oh brave and beautiful Marc Summers, please gace us with your presence.
Marc Summers: (Appears out of nowhere) AH! ... oh, I thought I told you to call me if you wanted to talk to me. Why do you gotta do this summoning thing?
Bobby Flay: ...Cause it's cool. So what is your opinion on where Food Network should head?
Marc Summers: Um...I've always been under the impression that we need to use more slime,but I guess what were doing is fine... do people really expect us tochange?
(Everyone stares at him)
Bobby Flay: Totally.
Paula Deen: We Definitely need more butter.
Giada De Laurentiis: We should probably put in more clevage. Watch my show?
Rachael Ray: Dude, W-T-F? G-T-F-O.

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