It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our new submission page!
Steve, School Not Given
About 3 or four years ago, a bunch of guys from my fraternity walked home from a bar trashed one night, and as we came home, noticed that the next door fraternity's front door was open. 2 of us went in to see if anything interesting was happening (and as always, nothing was), so we stole the nobs off your old ass washer and even older ass dryer, while completely loosening the water intake to where it would come apart next time someone used it. The next week at the all-fraternities meeting we found out that they made an announcement asking if anyone knew what happened to them and that nobody could do laundry there since. Everyone at the meeting laughed their ass off when they described the water flooding.Also, I stole a frozen hot pocket, corn dog, and frozen pizza on the way out.
Anonymous Anonymous, Somewhere in Florida
So I have this temporary summer roommate that is wayyyy too into the military. He also has a habit of eating everything in my damn kitchen without paying for shit. I'll make dinner and offer him some just to be nice and he'll casually walk over, pound the entire thing, and then just casually walk back upstairs to jack off to his Top Gun posters, or whatever it is he does up there. After a couple of months of this, I finally got pissed off enough get him back. A couple weeks ago he had to go to some enlistment meeting, which required him to take a few tests, the most important being a "drug test." Ha, since he talked about it every damn day, About a week or so before he had to go off I made a batch of "special brownies" and just left the whole plate of them sitting on the counter. I went to sleep and when I came home from class the next day, sure enough about half of the plate was missing. Haha, Mr. Maverick pounded almost the whole plate. He got SUPER fucked up and had no clue what was wrong with him. That afternoon we tossed him a few O'Doules and convinced him that he was just drunk, cause he never drinks or smokes. Sure enough, when he went off to his little camp, he failed his drug test with flying colors. His dad was pissed, he was pissed, and to this day he swears that it was only the "poppy seed" muffins that he ate in the cafeteria everyday. Serves ya right, douche bag, bet you'll never eat my brownies again.
Patrick, Ole Miss
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
by Jeff Rosenberg at NYU
by Bevy M. at Taylor
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
I'm lonely.
Not everyone is supposed to have a happy Valentine's Day... ya know?
"It didn't have to come to this..."
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Parking Fail
Recording...
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