The Post-Collegiate Path of the Aspiring Novelist

Age 21: "Now that I finally don't have to worry about finishing all this schoolwork, I should have plenty of time to work on my novel. This is great!"

Age 22: "Wow, I forgot how long it takes to beat Super Mario 3..."

Age 23: "Watching all the seasons of Lost back-to-back should help give me some ideas on how to develop my characters."

Age 25: "I'll just take this T.G.I. Friday's gig to pay the bills before my writing career really takes off."

Age 27: "You know, J.D. Salinger didn't publish Catcher in the Rye until he was 32, so I've still got a good five years to finish my masterpiece."

Age 29: "Really? You think I'm assistant manager material? Yes, I can say 'In here it's always Friday' with a straight face. You won't regret this, Mr. Johansson!"

Age 32: "I think I'm going to make the protagonist an assistant manager at T.G.I. Friday's. That's something a lot of people can relate to, right?"

Age 34: "Marrying Jennifer is going to provide me with so much more material to write about. Plus, she said her dad is going to hook me up with a cushy job at his company. I hope it's a publishing firm."

Age 34.5: It's not.

Age 37: "Jimmy, I swear, if you don't finish your peas, you're not getting an advanced signed copy of daddy's book."

Age 41: "I think I'm going to make the protagonist a data entry clerk at a law firm and the antagonist an overbearing hypercritical father-in-law who has no faith in the clerk's writing ability. That's something a lot of people can relate to, right?"

Age 45: "I've got it! The Shrinking Stars. It's perfect. Phew, well, I think I've earned myself a break. Honey, do we still have Super Mario 3?"

Age 49: "Please, dear, we just had sex last month, now I'm trying to write...oh, fine..."

Age 55: "I've always thought of novels as more of a retirement thing anyway."

Age 58: "Listen to me, Jim, you are not changing your major to English. I don't care how much your professors like your writing, this is not a good path to go down. Let's just stick to accounting like we planned, ok?"

Age 61: "Alright, Jenn, I think it's time we kicked Jim out of the house. It's obvious this novel of his isn't going anywhere."

Age 65: "What's that Jim? You say it's going to be published? Wow, that's just...that's just great, son, it really is. I guess writing must run in the family, huh? Haha. Well, no, I never actually published anything, but I've still got a few projects I'm working on. So who'd you dedicate the book to again?"

Age 70: "Yup, I had a nice writing career laid out for me for a while, but I'll tell ya, once I had Jim I really just got so involved with being a dad everything else sort of fell by the wayside, you know? Well, no, he hasn't dedicated one of them to me yet, but I'm sure he will soon. I have always supported him, after all."