"I would prefer if you took down the Sarah Michelle Gellar poster."
Hey, Vlad?
Vlad: Yeah.
Miles: We need to talk.
Vlad: Ugh... what.
Miles: Look at what I'm holding. What does this look like to you?
Vlad: A pack of Gushers.
Miles: It was.
(Squeezes one.) Now they're not gushing anything.
Vlad: That's weird.
Miles: Yeah. Did you suck the juice out of these?
Vlad: Absolutely not.
Miles: You sure? What's that stuff on your teeth, then?
Vlad: Blood, obviously.
Miles: Blood.
Vlad: Yup. Bit a kid earlier.
Miles: It's purple.
Vlad: He was... black?
Miles: Look, don't touch my food anymore, OK? The Gushers, the jelly doughnuts, the Twinkies... My mom sent those to me. I'm fine sharing, just... quit sucking the middles out of everything.
Vlad: Fine.
Miles: Oh - something else, too...
Vlad: Really? Kinda watching Lost Boys 2 here.
Miles: Yeah, for like the fourth time today.
Vlad: Third. Don't judge me.
Miles: Whatever. Pause it. I wanna talk about this sleeping situation. Why should you get the bottom bunk?
Vlad: Because I called it.
Miles: But you sleep hanging from the ceiling.
Vlad: Still.
Miles: You haven't even laid down on it once since we've been here.
Vlad: Doesn't matter. It's for when I have girls over. For sex.
Miles: Yeah you've said that. You always end up ripping out their throats before that happens though.
Vlad: I have an iron deficiency, you insensitive dick. Look, whatever, I'll switch beds with you eventually.
Miles: Will you really?
Vlad: Yeah. Ask me about it again in like 80 years or so, OK? Oh, wait - you'll be dead. Hah.
Miles: True. Hey, you mind if I open a window?
Vlad: Go for it, du--
Recording...
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
MySpace
