'Tis 9 AM
Eastern Time
A somber Tuesday morn'
A paper due
5 pages long
"How Democracy Was Born"
Mind is blank
An empty space
Devoid of inspiration
Eyelids heavy
Pillow soft
I lack all motivation
Oh pills of orange
In the bottom drawer
Underneath my magazines
I'm wide awake!
A miracle?
No, dextroamphetamines!
My focus now
Is quite intense
complete lack of saliva
Things unrelated
They now make sense
A modern day mental MacGyver
The paper, well
It writes itself
45 minutes tops
Prescription? no
Why do you ask?
Dude, you didn't say your dad's a cop.
"Who is representing you
Against the State?"
If you must know, Your Honor, I am
Am I pre-law? No
Then how did I win?
Simple, 35 Milligrams!
by Sarah Schneider at Wake Forest
by Conor McKeon at Rhode Island
by Amir and Ethan
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Make sure you know what you're really eating this Valentine's Day. $('#chocolate').translate({ 'tag_name': 'span' }); !split Illu
It's probably just the microphone. I'm sure this transvestite usually sounds lovely.
It s the Tuesday before Valentine s Day, which means you only have six days to convince your girlfriend that you�ve been thinking about this occasion since the day you met. Luckily, I m here with a day-by-day breakdown of what you should be doing.
Recording...
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
MySpace
