Pirating rules.
Somewhere off the coast of Africa, on the deck of a hijacked boat...
Pirate 1: Man, I love being a pirate.
Pirate 2: Me too.
Pirate 3: Check this out!
Pirate 3 punches innocent bystander in the stomach.
Pirates 1 & 2: Awesome!
Pirate 3: Sorry, bystander. Pirate thing.
Bystander: (cough) It's cool.
Pirate 1: All right, enough horsing around, you guys. Let's go steal some treasure.
Pirates: Yeah!
The Pirates pry open one of 33 cargo containers. They stare at the contents.
Pirate 1: What... what am I looking at here?
Pirate 2: Looks like... huh. I don't know. I was expecting a lot more gold. And treasure. Fewer big metal things.
Pirate 3: Maybe the big metal thing is made out of gold.
Pirate 2: Isn't gold usually gold-colored?
Pirate 1: Pirate 2 does raise a good point.
Pirate 3: Here, there's a label on the box. It says it's a... "ta-ank."
Pirate 1: Oh, a tank! Of course.
Pirate 3: What's a tank?
Pirate 1: Ha! Pirate 3 doesn't know what a tank is.
Pirate 3: Shut up! You don't either!
Pirate 1: What, you think that just because I've spent all of my life on the pirate boat, I don't have any knowledge beyond nautical matters?
Pirate 3: That is what I think, yes.
Pirate 1: Shows what you know. A tank is... well... it's a kind of coral.
Pirate 3: Ha!
Pirate 1: Okay, fine. Curse my exclusively seaborne lifestyle! Pirate 2, you were a landlubber once. What do you make of this?
Pirate 2: You guys kidnapped me when I was four and then keelhauled my parents. I can't really remember much before then.
Pirate 3: Why? Because of all the mental scarring?
Pirate 2: (stares at his feet) ...yes.
Bystander: Actually, guys, if I can cut in: a tank is an armored assault vehicle, meant for cutting through infantry and fortified positions while maintaining a superior tactical defense and battlefield mobility.
Pirate 3 punches innocent bystander in the stomach.
Pirate 3: Thanks!
Bystander: (cough) No problem.
Pirate 1: That was going to be my second guess, anyway. Well, men, these weapons are now property of the Pirates!
Pirates: Hooray!
Pirate 1: To arms!
Pirate 1 hops into a tank, cranks the accelerator, and drives into the ocean.
Pirates 2 & 3 watch in silence.
Pirate 3: Was it supposed to float?
Bystander: Not explicitly, no.
Pirate 2: (whispers) I think I would have preferred some treasure.
by Scott Bennett at Hofstra
by Owen Parsons
by Pat Keegan
"Skynet will prove and disprove the existence of our puny 'God' seven times before you finish reading this sentence..."
How can you run from evil if you can't even jump over a fence?
Our graduates are prepared to take on WoW.
A quick, easy way to find out whether or not you're an alcoholic is if you cried at this.
We're living in the future! If only Aunt Jemima were still alive to see this.
A bunch of dumbasses jumping off of stuff and getting hurt.
Check out more comics at http://fantasticgrandpa.com/
Check out more comics at http://fantasticgrandpa.com/
http://fantasticgrandpa.com/ It was a hit. Am I right?
Recording...
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