Werewolf Roommate

by Chase Mitchell on October 28, 2008

(Unrelated photo from the set of 'Air Bud 7: Son of Air Bud and Some Lady The Police Would Very Much Like a Word With')

David (walking in): Dude. You have GOT to hear about my night.

Miles: David.

David: Yeah?

Miles: You're naked again.

David: I know, right? I woke up at the zoo! ... Well. In the zoo.

Miles: (Sighs.) Which part?

David: Ahhh in the antelope habitat, I think?

Miles: You think.

David: I mean, there weren't any around when I woke up, but it's entirely possible I ate them all. Definitely the baby ones, though. I've been sh*tting fur all morn--

Miles: Look, while we're on the topic of your... condition, which you SWORE wouldn't affect our living situation...

David: Yeah?

Miles: There's a half-eaten dead guy in my closet.

David: Ah. Crap.

Miles: Yeah. It wouldn't be such a big deal, it's just... you still haven't finished that mostly-eaten dead guy you stuffed under my bed on Thursday. And it smells.

David: (Sniffs.) Is that what that is?

Miles: ...Pretty sure.

David: Well... You're welcome to some of that if you want, you know. Mi dead guy es su dead guy, and all. That's what roomies are for.

Miles: Is it? Look. David. I told you what happened with my last roommate, right?

David: Yeah, man. But vampires are 'mos. Werewolves are bros. I mean, we get along pretty well, don't we? And you only have to deal with the whole chewed up corpse thing like once a month at most.

Miles: But then there's the howling outside our window at 4 in the morning...

David: OK that part can't be helped. Have you ever SEEN my lupine musculature under that street lamp out there? Don't take that away from me.

Miles (Looking over at half-eaten dead guy): I think that's my Biology professor.

David: Hey, as long as we're talking, you mind if I grab a beer out of that mini fridge? I'm about to get the shakes over here.

Miles: Whatever you say, Michael J. Fox.

David: WHOA WHOA WHOA. Not cool. Say what you want about me, man, but please... leave The Fox out of it, OK? (Opens can, takes a sip.) ...Shit, that kind of stings a litt-- (Coughs.) Ow. Oh God. What brand is this!?