It Came From The Braddon Computer Lounge!

It Came From The Braddon Computer Lounge!

By: Brandon J. Mendelson

BigMatt worked as a lab proctor at Alfred State College. His job consistedof walking from computer lab to computer lab, counting the number ofcomputers, mice, keyboards, and people using the lab.

Iwent with Big Matt a few times, and on one of our trips I came across apurple spiral notebook stuffed between two computers. The grade for thenotebook's assignment caught my interest. The student received a twoout of thirteen, which falls somewhere between "grizzly death" and"mauled by an angry Black Friday mob" for his particular course. I knowthis because I had the same instructor and assignment two years earlier.

If you can spell "colege", then there is a place for you at auniversity somewhere in America. People say I'm wrong, and suggeststudents applying to college can spell the word "college", but Ibelieve this purple alarm clock proves them all wrong.

Sowhen you're sitting in class and the person next to you says somethingso stupid, your brain says, "Forget this, I'm out", you can rest easy. You're not hallucinating, some schools really do let everyone in.

The following are select entries from the notebook. The statementsbelow are copied word for word from the original. Let this be areminder as to why you should spell check and read everything yousubmit for class carefully.

• "What botherss me is when I campus book store cald sell out of hooks."

• "Some professors buggle my mind when it comes to the way in which they teach."

• "Some of the professors teach us stuff that we are hever going to have to use. Math is a good example."

• "What is wrong with illegal drug?"

• "Why is it that make people believe that being H makes it ok."

• "If you are good at metal working, you might be a machinist."

• "My favorite mose is Dumb and Dumber. Ever time I see that movie I just can't help but to resite the words."

• "Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels are the best pair ever put together."

• "I wonder if Amish girls wonder what it is like to have amish guys who are not Amish."

• "Ithink that by putting of video games like James Bond teaching thechildren of today to be good and ingeligent shippers and shooters."

• "It tooke me a minute or two to put together that the W.T.C. was the Twin Towers."

• "Where do people get there anger from when they play heavy metal music?'

• "I would hate to be the first person to have brain surgery."

• "Iwonder how how the first guy created the animal cracker. The guy mustof ben at the zoo eating a cracker while looking at the animals."

• "I for the life of me can not understand why a man would want to wear spandex."

• "I understand its illegal but why sensor it?"

• "Iwas watching the news and this guy was standing there in nothing butspandex. He must have other clothes, we don't need to see that whilewatching the news."

• "Even when I'm sitting in class I get cravings for chicek salad from Friendlys."

• "Why is it that people have to follow rules within the community?"

• "The democrats usually get in a circle and shoot at each other all day."