Conversations Heard Around the Kids Table at the First Thanksgiving

by Scott Hinners on November 23, 2008

Historical Accuracy
Squantos Son: Hey, my family hunted all last week for today's feast. Are you excited to try all these things? I bet its different then what your used to.
Nathaniel: Hey guess what? After the feast my daddy says he's gonna take all your land and horses...
Father: NATHANIEL! WHAT DID I TELL YOU BEFORE WE GOT HERE...I DID not. You ought silence yourself! - I'm sure he simply mistunderstood our discussion about a treaty...um pass the salt please Squanto...

Envy
"WOW is that reaaaal bow and arrows you have?"
"Yes. I received it a few moons ago. "
"COOOL, father says I can't have fun with a musket or anything until I'm at least 13. you're so lucky. So do you get to shoot it for fun?"
"Nah, mostly just so my tribe doesn't starve."
"AWESOME."

Finishing your Plate
Mother: Theodore, you cannot leave that table til you've finished all of that turkey leg and corn meal...there are starving children over in the next town - I'm sure they've love some of this food.
Theodore: Yes mother

Too Old for the Table
Daniel: But Mother, why should I have to sit with the children?
Am I not a young man?
Mother: Daniel, we made it quite clear that you will not be able to sit at the adult designated table, which will hereby bear the distinction between those who have earned their parents respect and those who haven't...you failed to behead that turkey for the feast today did you not?
Daniel: But mom..
Mother: Once you behead a turkey, then you will have my respect

Forgot to Heat the Rolls...
"Oh Thomas, I forgot the rolls...do your mother a favor and just till the fields, mill the grain, culture the yeast, gather the firewood and bake some for me before the feast gets cold...thank you."

Patience
"MOOOOooom how long are we gonna be in the New World?"

Brotherly Love
Nathaniel and his little brother Thomas...
Nathaniel: Hey Thomas, do you know what you are eating
Thomas: Father says it is the finest meal we will taste all winter...
Nathaniel: But speficially WHAT you are eating
Thomas: Tis a fowl leg
Nathaniel: Ah yes. Hey wheres you favorite pet today? Have you seen little tom, your pet turkey?
Thomas: HMmm, no I haven't why??

Haven't they figured it out yet?
"Hey Indian friends, whatcha bring?"
"We brought all of this game; the deer, wild turkey and rabbit."
"So you guys are real Indians?"
(To each other in Wampanoag) "Why do they still keep calling us Indians?! Don't they know we aren't anywhere near India. Wasn't this resolved already..."
"Well are ya?"
"No actually we are members of the Wampanoag tribe, located speecifically around this area not to be confused with other native americans in the region."
"Wha? So real Indians or fake Indians"
*sigh* "Real Indians..."

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Recording...