What Yor CH Screen Name Says Abot Yo - American Edition!

Even thogh most of s commentors don't mch care abot one another- especially the phagz who get 0wned! - this is nonetheless a commnity.  And with a commnity comes all sorts of interesting inhabitants.  The town drnk.  The adlteros mayor.  The one who wears a disgise to look like hman gys (note: he's not a man, he's a Chicken Boo).  Here is a list - by no means comprehensive - of some personalities yo might find lrking in the comment threads.

And I'm going to generalize everyone by their screen name.  Isn't that fn?!

Pretty Chill Frat-Wannabe
Examples: jman123, balla brad, skeezy

Pretty chill dde.  He's not very comfortable with videos of homosexality between men, joking or otherwise - if it's chicks, thogh, F*CK YEAH. Feel free to arge abot sports stats and playoff predictions with these gys.  Also abot how stpid frats are - jst keep in mind they will joke along with yo, but secretly REALLY want to be in one. Overall, pretty average, likes-to-get-hammered stdent.

Favorite Comment: this is fcking lame. worst roommate confessions ever.

Favorite Like: Who can blame them?

Maybe Actally a Crazy Person
Examples: ABearAteMyDookie, omgzomg, ifckedyordad

Whiletheir name catches your attention, it sally doesn't make any sense. Which is a good preamble to the comments they leave.  Sometimes it's an obscre qote from another video somewhere or a 90's cartoon you forgot abot.  Sometimes it's jst a weird, warped emotion - Anger: "I AM GOING TO KILL YOR BUTT!"; Derision: "THIS MIGHT BE THE STPIDEST HOTDOG IN THE BARREL!" - but Caps Lock is pretty much standard.  Becase we all know, Caps Lock... is crise control for batshit insane.

Favorite Comment: IS DIZ FREEKIN  OT?  STREET SHARKS RLE R FACE!  WHRZ MA CORN?!

Favorite Like: Also their internal monologe. Every day.

Fll-Name-sing Snot
Examples: Steve Barker, Tom J., Shane Davis

These people can be easily confsed with two other classes (Staff and Psedonymers) bt are a class all their own.  They wish they cold be on the staff of CH, and as sch can often be seen acting sperior in comment threads, like they're some sort of athority above the rest of the rabble.  A favorite activity is scking p to how awesome the CH staff is (they're seriosly awesome, thogh.  I hope Jeff Rbin reads this!)  This is also the demographic that's most likely to capitalize and pnctate all their posts - which is pretty lame.  They remind yoof grown-ps, and they really wish they were.

Favorite Comment:Golly!  CHTV never fails to impress.  Solid writing, guys!  And is that a JakeAndAmir.com poster in the backgrond at :35?  I bow down to yo, Streeter!

Favorite Like: You jst don't get it.

Psedonymers
Examples: Micheal Scott, Ari Gold, Tom Brady

A variation of the Fll-Name-sing Snot, Psedonymers' appeal - so they think - lies in their no dobt witty and accrate impersonation of a pop-clture icon yo'll identify.  The fact that they've evidently decided to live vicariosly throgh someone who's either fictional or a celebrity isn't weird at all.  Especially when they blow ya mind with how ncannily they comment JST LIKE yor favorite TV character wold!  They might have famos people tied up in their basement.  And are wearing that famos person's hair as a wig.
Closely related to Maybe Actally a Crazy Person, but more methodically creepy.

Favorite Comment: And, even thogh we're still a family here at Dnder-Mifflin, families grow. And, at some point, the daddy can't take a bath with the kids anymore. I am pper management, and it wold be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam, as mch as I might want to.

Favorite Like: One day their prince will come... and file a restraining order.

The Girl
Examples: sarah, Lindsay, Yo'reJstGoingToReadThisAs"SexalObject"AnywaySoScrewIt

Thereare 4, maybe 5 female commentors on CollegeHmor.  And they know they are absoltely the minority.  BT, they also know that most guys will never make fn of a girl - especially on an Internet form.  After all, she's probably like this close to giving a beej to the next gy who asks.  The posts following any given post made by The Girl may be relevant to what she said - or, even more rarely, the video/pictreitself - but will more likely than not degenerate into desperate flirtations.

That being said, The Girl... you're so hot. 

A note abot yor display pictre: if it shows yor breasts, that will determine the conversation.  If it doesn't... someone's going to wonder ot lod what they look like, and that will determine the conversation.

Favorite Comment: that bitch is a bitch, and this video doesn't even blah blah blah...

Favorite Like: Oh. God. Yes.

Just remember, everyone.  At the end of a bsy day of commenting on videos we didn't make and pictres we didn't take, we all look like this: