Roommate Confessions

Issue 61

by Jeff Rosenberg February 02, 2009

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here.

I had this roommate, Stephen, my sophomore year who was really big into working out. Every time he would buy a new huge bucket of whey protein, I would take all of the powder out, and replace it with a couple packages of Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate mix. His disappointment with this conventional method led to his steroid use. Consequently, he's now jacked.
Michael Maccarone, University of Tennessee

I was never really that into rock band. I played the drums while you did homework because I knew it annoyed the hell out of you.
Andrew A, University of Kansas

There is Fraternity at my school that some of us have some disagreements about. Well they are not really disagreements some of us just don't like them. So I thought it would be great to take Skyy vodka and steep about 20 habaneros in the vodka for a couple of days. I then put the vodka in a brita water filter to get out most of the coloring. I gave it to a friend to see if it was strong enough. The stuff made his eyes tear up and snot come out his nose. That night there was a party that all the D-bags were hanging out front. I placed the bottle of vodka right outside so they could see it. I went inside to talk to some friends when I came out they were gone and so was my vodka. Happy drinking D-BAGS.
Greg Charles, UNI

I know you thought I didn't like fudge. I don't. I just ate yours because I hated you and threw it up after. You were so angry but never thought it was me.
Lucy S., UWO

Last semester my roommates, one of their boyfriends, and I found a fake ID site online that let you order fakes that scan and everything from some place in the United Arab Emirates. The site's pricing chart said that we could get a group discount and get 5 IDs for $75 each. Because all 5 of us were underage, and also idiots, we decided to go for it. The site said you could only send in cash, which should have tipped us off right away that it was a scam. Everyone gave me their money and I was supposed to send it off the next day. Well, that night I started getting a little nervous about it and decided to research the site's credibility online. I found a site at first that claimed to rate all of the fake ID sites and said that our UAE site was the best. A little later I found message boards saying that that rating site was created by the fake ID site to give them more credibility. Everybody on the message board that had ordered from our UAE site said they never received ANY fake ID in the mail from that site and if they tried to contact them, they said they had no record of them on file. As soon as I read this I knew our site was a scam. I told my roomies that I sent in the money, when I really didn't and just kept all $300 for myself. My roommates don't really suck, so I don't know why I did this. I'm probably just a horrible person.
Spencer, School Not Given

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