Straight Cash Homey

Ethan: What a game! Kurt Warner is now 3-for-3 in starting Super Bowls that have really exciting finishes. And we were 16-for-16 on prop betting advice. We should be forced to write that column every year.

Who said Ray Lewis didn't intimidate on Super Bowl Sunday? This is frightening.

Ethan: Commercial fans were disappointed? Speak for yourself. I was just sitting here wondering what in the hell I was going to do with all this used gold jewelry I've got sitting around.

Amir: And I was wondering if Danica Patrick's morals were for sale. Turns out they are.

Ethan: Can we go ahead and clear this up, though: that was a great game, but not the best Super Bowl ever. Or even the best in the last 12 months.

Amir: Maybe the best fourth quarter ever, but not the best Superbowl. Most underrated moment: James Harrison beating the crap out of Arizona's Aaron Francisco. My God, I was only watching on TV but I was still scared for my life.

Ethan: Watching James Harrison run that TD back was incredible. Is there anything better than watching a huge person try to outrun someone? Why can't that be a sport all its own: you get a bunch of 300 pounders and have skinnier people chase them. I'd tune into that.

Amir: I'm happy the head of development at Fox Television reads this column. So were you rooting for the underdog like a true American hero, or were you one of those DESPICABLE people who thought an Arizona victory would be terrible for football.

Ethan: I was mainly rooting for my squares pool, so I was livid when that first TD challenge ended up costing me $500. Now I finally understand how people can dislike instant replay. It ruins the game. It costs fans money. This experiment isn't working, Goodell.

Amir: That's so self-centered. Here's a theoretical question I always ask people: what percentage of your total net worth would you have to have riding on the game for you to be more invested than a life long die-hard Steelers fan.

Ethan: Over half, I'd guess. They're pretty devoted fans. Do you think they're happy with this whole Sixburgh nickname? I really was hoping for the much-catchier "One for the Thumb (Of the Other Hand)" to catch on.

Amir: Don't ask me. I was rooting for One-azona. Or Arizon-one. I hadn't decided.

Ethan: It'll always be Ari-zero-na to me. You've made it this far without taunting me for Wake's colossal fall off of a basketball cliff. And for that, I thank you, sir.

Amir: Tobacco Road is under construction, folks! I'm kidding. Seriously though, it is. Lots of I-40 Westbound only has one lane open between Raleigh and Greensboro. Expect delays.

Ethan: You were at Kobe's 61-point game. What's your exclusive report?

Amir: He's good at basketball folks, take it from me. But I actually think LeBron's 52 point triple double is more impressive. I can't wait to see how KG tries to one up them both on Friday. Can we be days away from our first Triple-20 game!?

KG with 20 blocks tomorrow? ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!

Amir: If I'm a Knicks season ticket holder I'm happy. At least I'm getting entertained.

Ethan: That's why the last three ticket holders haven't given up their seats yet. Got an interesting fact for us this week?

Amir: If you get 2-2 in your Superbowl box next year you might as well just shred your potential winnings right away. Only one game in NFL history has ever ended that way.

Ethan: The Bills beat the Dolphins 42-32 in that game in 2004. Anyone who had the 2-2 square cashed in. They then immediately spent their winnings on counseling because only a degenerate gambler would play a squares pool in a regular-season Bills-Dolphins game.

Amir: It was an AFC East showdown! I'm sorry! No, you know what? I'm NOT sorry.

Ethan: Until next week, hire Adam Dunn to DH!

Amir and Ethan are also run StraightCashHomey.net: A random jersey blog