Top 5 biggest threats to UC Berkeley students:

Number 5: Oakland
You know it's bad when Berkeley is scared of you.

Number 4: Bums
No, I'm still not giving you money even though you're batshit crazy and smell like feces.

Number 3: Bart Police
'Nuff Said

Number 2: OD'ing on Aderol during finals
What cracks me up is that the majority of kids who do this are too square to party or anything during the semester, but come finals it's totally okay to crush up pills and snort them, totally fine.

Number 1: Berkeley squirrels
Somewhat related to number 4, the squirrels here are insanely aggressive. y theory? "hey got into the needles down at people's park.
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