The ketchup is out and my time is up

While sitting in one of the many fine cafeteria's that this college has to offer I find myself concentrating on two things. The first is the massive pile of chick strips covered in some disgusting mixture of ranch, cheese and possibly barbecue sauce or whatever other artery blocking heap of deliciousness I can consume and the other is soaking in some of the fine looking young ladies that the campus has to offer.

Refilling the Ketchup as I call it, is one of my favorite activities while sitting down to a good warm meal with friends. It gives me/us the opportunity to scout some of the local dormitory talent and talk about all the things that we would never actually do/say to the young women. Now usually standard procedure is that you have one-two seconds to get a decent glance at the girl and that the rest must be filled in by memory-what your idiot friends tell you, but yesterday was a complete different story.

My day had stared out poorly as it was. The previous weekend I had been involved in some sort of bizarre conspiracy involving the ambitious lawmakers of Michigan State University and underage drinking. So with that fresh in my mind, I headed down to the Caf to try to eat away my sorrows. After I gathered my plate of heart attack convered in nacho cheese, I sat down and began to eat. After staring down at my food for a while my eyes began to wander around the half full cafeteria. When I looked up I saw a fairly attractive girl with red hair and tight green shirt walking towards me, I breifly gazed at her for a second before her eyes darted towards me and gave me a look of complete disgust. "Shit", I said to myself , that was embarassing. assuming that would be the last of my ketchup struggles for the day. I was very wrong. A few minutes laster two blonde girls, that appeared to be twins but may have just looked alike because they were blondes, sat down diagonal from me. I was intrigued by leery to look there way, then one of them said in a loud voice"my boobs hurt" and I was forced to look. At that point the twins were already looking at me as if  some psychic blonde power had told them that I was going to give them a quick body search with my eyes. At that point they actually stand up and I hear one of them say," we dont want to sit here". It was inbelivabele that I was being made out to be some kind of creepo when its male human nature to look up when hearing the word"boobs" spoken by someone from the opposite sex. I was in the Caf for maybe fifteen minutes that day and I was caught staring at girls around 5.5 times. I say .5 because I cant be sure if one of them was looking at me or the idiot wearing the chef's hat behind me cutting into some dried turkey. As I left the cafeteria I saw a very good looking girl that lives down my hall and to avoid anymore embarassment I just totally avoided looking at her after which I was accused of being an unfriendly jerk...I'll tell you sometimes you just cant win. So I guess if the ketchup is being filled or needs refilled just try and choose your battles wisely because if your not very professional and quick with your glances then , more often then not, you will get caught.