FUrL: The other side of classic FMLs

Embarrassing stuff happens to people all the time. For some reason, people like to share their humiliations with the world and most of the time, there are two sides to every embarrassing story. Rollover the text to learn the other sides of these real life humiliations that left people saying FML:
Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML
Today, You came in for an interview dressed up like some naughty little girl. I started showing you around and took you back to the back section of the lab. I opened the door for you like the gentleman I am and you hugged me like a little tart. I still got it but youre a slut. FUrL.
Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML
Today you were wearing some nice pumps at the train station. As it arrived I stepped on your shoe and let it fall between the tracks. Ill be back to get it later, I now own half of over 20 pairs of shoes. FUrL.
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
Today we exacted our revenge on you, foolish human. Soon we shall rule the world! FUrL
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
Today, you were standing right next to me when you saw what I had been up to on my computer. Youre still coming on the business trip, better bring the lube. FUrL
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, you were pretending to be asleep long past your bedtime. We knew you were awake but if you could pretend then so could we. Hope you enjoyed the show! FUrL
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
Today, I saw you sleeping there so innocently in class. I knew that wasnt your phone, much too big. Call me sometime. FUrL
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