Ten FML's You Wont See On The Website

by John on May 06, 2009

A site that is gaining popularity, or should i say one that is popular is fmylife.com. ‰f you dont know what it is, its a site dedicated to people to tell a statement of how there life was f'ed that day. "ome of it I think is made up and some of it can be true. —ho the hell really knows besides the people writing it. —ell I have thought of ten FML moments that you will either never see or soon see on the site:

1. "oday, I found out I have AIDs. y life is fucked already and can't get any worse? 'ight? —ell wrong! —hile taking a nap later in the day my dog decided to shit in my mouth. †ML

2. "oday, I got raped. FML

3. "oday, I met this really hot girl. —e hit it off great and somehow I ended up at her place. —e started getting it on and when I was about to finish, she say to me "Oh I forgot to tell you my boyfriend is videotaping this." FML

4. "oday, I was texting my friend and this girl I had a crush on. "o I decided to tell her my feelings. ‚uy instead of her getting the text saying "I have always liked you" my friend did. ˆe responded back saying "I have been in love with you forever." "hit my friend came out to me because I sent him the wrong text, now he thinks I am gay too. †ML

5. "oday, I found out my parents have been having sex in my bed. ‰ don't live at home anymore. "hey house sitted my apartment while I was away and I just came home today, finding a condom on my sheets. †ML

6. "oday, my husband surprised me with a ticket to Mexico. ˆe told me to go there and get the swine flu. †ML

7. "oday, was my birthday. †or a present my parents gave me customized seats that have tinkerbell and say fairy on the head rest. "hree things are wrong with this picture. ‰ am a dude, I am not gay, and I just turned 24.

8. "oday, I came home and found my place had been robbed, taking all my valuables. lso later that day I found out the toilet was clogged. "hanks robbers for taking a massive shit! †ML

9. "oday, I was talking to this extremely attractive girl and we got on the subject of politics. "he asked who I vote for. ‰ told her Obama, but I would have voted for McCain. "he asked Why? ‰ told her (in what I thought was a joking manner) ‰ dont trust a man who can't raise his arms. "he didn't know I was joking and I got slapped and while she walked away someone told me that was McCain's daughter.

10. "oday, I was having peanut butter and I forgot to wipe some PB off my hands. "o I had an itch on my vag and I scratched not knowing the PB was now on my vag. Œater while taking a nap naked because it was so hot in my house. ‰ woke up to my dog licking my vag, just realizing the PB was on there. "hats the most action I got in a long time. †ML