by Brian Murphy May 12, 2009


Penis: Damn, your ex is looking pretty good tonight.
Brain: She's crazy.
Penis: Crazy...IN THE SACK!
Brain: I'm not gonna hook up with her. Too much drama.
Penis: WE'LL SORT THAT SHIT OUT LATER.
Brain: No. I'll sort it out later. You'll just do whatever you want and leave me to deal with the consequences.
Penis: WHATEVER, MAN. STOP BEING GAY. WHAT ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING?
Brain: Can't we just find someone else?
Penis: I HAVE MADE MY CHOICE. BEND TO MY WILL.

Brain: Come on, old buddy. You can do this. It's my 40th wedding anniversary.
Penis: ...Ugh.
Brain: Get up! Just this one time. Please.
Penis: Go away. I'm sleepy.
Brain: All I'm asking is for a few minutes.
Penis: With that old hag? That's an eternity.
Brain: That's my wife you're talking about!
Penis: She bores me.
Brain: What if I think about someone else?
Penis: That could work. YEAH! LET'S DO THIS.
Brain: Great. OK, here we go.
Penis: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Brain: SON OF A BITCH.
by Susanna Wolff at Columbia
by Brian Murphy
by 105%-O-Matic at Bucks County Community College
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Make sure you know what you're really eating this Valentine's Day. $('#chocolate').translate({ 'tag_name': 'span' }); !split Illu
It's like a TV show that makes you want to buy body wash.
It's probably just the microphone. I'm sure this transvestite usually sounds lovely.