Blessed are the people whose leaders can look a turtle in the eye without flinching while dousing it in lighter fluid and dropping it into a blender. - Henry Kissinger
You know my friends, there comes a time when people get tired of being trampled by the iron feet of oppression. This is the time when we all come together with jalapeno poppers and soda pop, and watch a dolphin fry in a tanning bed. - Martin Luther King Jr.
The long hours spent with animals in the forest have enriched my life beyond measure. Especially when I fit a baby giraffe with a pair of roller skates and stick it on a treadmill. - Jane Goodall
I did not get on the bus to get arrested. I got on that bus to go string an octopus to a tetherball pole and watch the kids go nuts. - Rosa Parks
I believe that in the 20th century, humanity has learned from many, many experiences. Like cutting open a football and filling it with broken glass, newspaper, and a hamster, and then playing catch for a while. This teaches us grace. - The Dalai Lama
A man does what he must - even if it means forcing a lemur to stare at a solar eclipse - and that is the basis of all human morality. - John F. Kennedy
No one is as capable of gratitude as one who has emerged from the kingdom of night. Except maybe the squirrel who's been strapped to a boomerang and dipped in a highly corrosive substance. It's a close call. - Elie Wiesel
If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician, or maybe I'd pursue my dream of building the world's first koala bomb. - Albert Einstein
Every Hindu boy and girl should possess sound Samskrit learning. And a car battery to electrocute elephants after school. - Mohandas Gandhi
Man, was Sasha ever pissed at her birthday party when she discovered the piñata was just a cocker spaniel covered in papier-mâché. - Barack Obama
by Steve E. at Taylor
by Jeff Rosenberg at NYU
by Patrick Cassels at Purchase College
Amir launches the first aerial attack in the war's four year history.
A funny picture from CollegeHumor
So many different shows, you won't realize they're exactly the same!
Pretty accurate portrayal of the journey through life.
A Salt-n-Pepa parody that proves you can't spell "sensual" without "SMS."
she must give great head, otherwise this would be totally unacceptable.
Every American knows the story of the First Thanksgiving, when the Wampanoag Indians saved the Pilgrims from starvation and the two peoples celebrated with a feast. Lesser known is the "Second Thanksgiving." Like most Holidays, there was a lot of agg
He also ate $50,000 in non-consecutive, unmarked bills and his gun. The judge said the time he spent on the toilet was punishment enough.
Recording...
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