BARK. BARK, BARK, WOOF.
Hey, Mikey, I really need your help man.
Hiya boy! What's wrong? Something up?
BARK.
My owner hasn't fed me in weeks. Please help me.
Trouble down at the old mill you say?
RUFF, RUFF. BARK.
No, no you must have misheard me. I'm hungry. I want food.
Mill's on fire?!? Well we'll need to get the fire brigade!
BARK.
FEED ME!
Thanks boy. You saved the day!
WOOF
JIMMY. JIMMY. JIMMY.
Hey doggie.
WOOF
Jimmy, I need your help. I'm starving. Go into the fridge and get me some leftover table scraps
Doggie wanna play fetch?
WOOF
No. Too weak. Maybe later. I need food now.
Whoa. Something up boy? What is it? What's going on?
WOOF
No one's in danger except myself. Go get that leftover turkey. I'll even eat the dark meat.
Tommy fell down the well and can't get out?
WOOF
No, Tommy's fine. He's probably stuffing his fat little face with hot pockets. Just give me the turkey. I'll even lick your toes if you let me. C'mon man, take off your shoes and socks I'm not joking.
RUFF
I'm going to pass out and die.
Trouble at the old mill?
RUFF
Well, yes, but that's not what I'm barking about.
What's wrong boy? It's on fire?
RUFF. RUFF.
Yes, people are dying but I don't care. Let their flesh burn so I can feast on their remains.
Hey boy, we need your help. Some man just kidnapped Suzie!
WOOF, WOOF.
So?
Here, we managed to get a shirt of his. Follow the scent.
WOOF.
Oo, barbeque sauce stain. I'll lick this for awhile.
You got it yet, boy?
WOOF WOOF
Sorry, can't hear you. Still licking the stain. Must e weeks old but it's the best meal I've ever had.
Go find him boy. Go get him.
WOOF
Keep talking during my mediocre meal and Ill bite your goddamn face off!
GO BOY, GET HELP! GRANDMA FELL!!!
WOOF.
No.
Recording...
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