Lassie: BARK, BARK, BARK.
Lassie: Hey, Billy I really need your help man.
Billy: Hiya boy! What's wrong? Something up?
Lassie: BARK.
Lassie: No one's fed me in weeks. Please, please help
me.
Billy: Trouble down at the old mill you say?
Lassie: RUFF, RUFF. BARK.
Lassie: No, no you must have misheard me. I'm hungry.
I want food.
Billy: Mill's on fire?!? Well we'll need to get the fire brigade!
Lassie: BARK. WOOF, BARK.
Lassie: I am a proud collie. Please spare me the humiliation
of begging, Kind Billy. Please feed me.
Billy: Thanks boy. You saved the day!
Lassie: WOOF.
Lassie: JIMMY. JIMMY. JIMMY.
Jimmy: Hey doggie.
Lassie: BARK
Lassie: Jimmy, I need your help. I'm starving. Go into
the fridge and get me some leftover table scraps
Jimmy: Doggie wanna play fetch?
Lassie: WOOF
Lassie: No. Too weak. Maybe later. I need food now.
Jimmy: Whoa. Something up boy? What is it? What's going on?
Lassie: WOOF, WOOF. BARK.
Lassie: No one's in danger except myself. Go get that
leftover turkey. I'll even eat the dark meat.
Jimmy: Tommy fell down the well and can't get out?
Lassie: WOOF
Lassie: No, Tommy's fine. He's probably stuffing his
fat little face with hot pockets. Just give me the turkey. I'll even lick
your toes if you let me. Show some compassion and take off your shoes and
socks. I'm not joking.
Tommy: Hey boy, we need your help. Some man just kidnapped Suzie!
Lassie: WOOF, WOOF.
Lassie: So?
Tommy: Here, we managed to get a shirt of his. Follow the scent.
Lassie: RUFF.
Lassie: Oooo, barbeque sauce stain. I'll lick this
for awhile.
Tommy: You got it yet, boy?
Lassie: WOOF WOOF
Lassie: Sorry, can't hear you. Still licking the stain.
Must be weeks old, but it's the best meal I've ever had.
Tommy: Go find him boy. Go get him.
Lassie: BARK
Lassie: Keep flapping your mouth during my meal and
Ill bite your fucking face off!
Lassie: RUFF
Lassie: I'm going to pass out and die if no one feeds
me.
Mr. Thomkins: Trouble at the old mill?
Lassie: RUFF
Lassie: Well, yes, but that's not what I'm barking
about.
Mr. Thomkins: What's wrong boy? It's on fire?
Lassie: RUFF. RUFF.
Lassie: Yes, people are dying but I don't care. Let
their flesh burn so I can feast on their remains.
Jimmy: GO BOY, GET HELP! GRANDMA FELL!!!
Lassie: WOOF.
Lassie: No.
Recording...
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