New Facebook Feature: Advanced Friend Suggestions

by Conor McKeon on June 26, 2009

Tony Pierlioni

You and Tony both have developed increasingly frequent and increasingly impure thoughts about several relatives over the course of your last two family gatherings.

Add as Friend
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kinsey Durgin

You and Kinsey both list "The Broom Of The System", Dig!, and Fleet Foxes as your favorite book/movie/band, when in reality they are "It's Hard Out Here For A Shrimp", The Postman, and S Club 7.

Add as Friend
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eric Lyman

You and Eric are both trying to come off your Vicodin addictions by snorting so much Extra Strength Midol your septums should co-sponsor a WNBA team.

Add as Friend
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John Weir

You and John both contracted genital warts from a girl with a harelip during Spring Weekend.

Add as Friend
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Geoff Billingham

You and Geoff both think the music video for Cameo's "Word Up" is the kind of music video Jesus Christ would make if Jesus Christ made a music video.

Add as Friend
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jake Dent

You and Jake both have tri-daily and goat-centric masturbation schedules.

Add as Friend

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mason Ovian

You and Mason both think Facebook articles are automaticallystupid, even self-aware Facebook articles that contain references to David Foster Wallace and goat porn.

Add as Friend

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------