
My now ex-gf canceled on a double date a 1/2 hour before we were supposed to go out. I had to call my friend as he was already on his way over to my house and tell him he was on his own for dinner now. Then she broke up with me that night saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. She called me the next day and asked me to buy her booze.
-BMB
I never appreciated the song centerfold until i stumbled across a picture of my ex-girlfriend naked on the internet.
-Brett Y.
A girl once called me 82 times in one night. You think she would have figured it out once I didn't pick up the first time. We weren't dating.
-Bill, Bowling Green
My ex is Korean and he asked me to give him a blowjob while he played Starcraft for his birthday.
-Stephanie, Georgia Tech
In high school, at the last dance of the year, a guy that I liked asked me to slow dance. I was so happy, but then he told me "Hang on a second, stay right there!" while holding my hand and walking away. A few seconds later he was right back next to me and he had only walked a few feet away. I was confused. Then he said, "Sorry, I had to fart."
-Jamie B., CA
I was getting pretty serious with my high school girlfriend. One night I went over to watch a movie with her. We sat on the couch and started watching the flick and were covered with a blanket. Her family all went to bed and the next thing I know she's unzipped my pants and is rubbing me. Unfortunately her little sister fell asleep on the couch by us. Well my girlfriend didn't seem to notice and got under the blanket to give me a blow job. It was hard to get off with her sister asleep next to us, so it took me a while but right as I was about to come her sister let out a snore. My girlfriend shot up and the blanket over us got the full effect... 3 days later when I returned I looked at the blanket and her face turned white because she had apparently forgotten to wash it and her dad was snuggled under the stained sheet watching the game.
-Ryan, ASU
As a high-schooler with NO sexual experience whatsoever, I wasn't exactly prepared to get a BJ. As I finished, she seemed shocked and, after spitting, asked me why I didn't warn her I was going to finish, and if I was "testing" her. I seriously had no idea something was gonna come out of me, but managed to convince her that I didn't warn her because, yes, I was "testing" her. (She passed... I guess?)
-Uyoj, U. of Soratami
by Jesse Eisemann at Rutgers
by Jason Michaels at University of Illinois
by Kevin
"Skynet will prove and disprove the existence of our puny 'God' seven times before you finish reading this sentence..."
How can you run from evil if you can't even jump over a fence?
Our graduates are prepared to take on WoW.
A quick, easy way to find out whether or not you're an alcoholic is if you cried at this.
Douchebags finally standing up and demanding respect...Douchebags have rights & feelings -- and the word ("douchebag") will no longer be a bad one. Hilarious VID...
HE HAS ALWAYS HAD THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL, BUT NOW WE GET TO HEAR IT AUTOTUNED FOR NO EXTRA COST!
In college no one cares what you wear to class, but they do care what you wear on Halloween. There are literally million of things you could dress up as; this is why your choice in costume says a lot about you. This is what you were saying this Hallo
Collection of babies eating lemons resulting in some of the cutest facial expressions. Super adorable and funny!