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Some thoughts... by Mike Castro

by Mike Castro on July 16, 2009

Here are my thoughts...

I like to carry a brick around wherever I go so every window is an emergency exit.

I once owned this very cocky, dyslexic dog...he thought he was god.

I was walking through the desert and I thought I saw a mirage, but it was a figment of my imagination.

I'm fluent in French, but I only speak in subtitles.

Some people say "life" is too short, even though "death" only has one more letter.

Ambition is putting a ladder against the sky... greed is kicking that ladder down after you get to the top.

When I was a doctor, I practiced malpractice.

Sometimes I paint my entire body in whiteout, so if I make a mistake people look right over me.

I wanted to know the meaning of life...so I looked it up.

When I was a child, my mother had to work to put the food on the table...but we didn't have a very big table, so she didn't have to work very hard.

I imagine before the invention of showers, when someone said, "You smell nice"...it really wouldn't mean much.

I think a funny thing to do would be to go back in time and convince theinventor of the washing machine that his idea is stupid and he shouldconsider retirement. Then when he gives up, take his idea and rename it "The Litter Box." Cats would be all confused, and it would teach them to hold it in.

I was fired from waiting tables because I waited too long.

The other day this cop gave me fantastic tickets for a band called "Speeding." I hear they really push the limit.

When I was a child, I offered candy to strangers.

If you put your money where your mouth is...I wouldn't take it.

I was taking a walk across London Bridge...and it fell down. I was all right, but the guy who wrote that song is being questioned by authorities.

I used to work at Carnegie Hall, but only for one show. I was fired because I accidentally replaced the main stage lights with the clapper. End of the show...standing ovation...people thought it was the end of the world.