Parents Just Don't Understand

Your parents' broadband.

My dad was stuck on the computer one day looking for an "any key." The website he was on said press any key to continue.
Joe H, Ole Miss

My dad makes the subject for all of his emails "Hi, It's Mitch."
Brian Landes

I used to work in my school library and one afternoon this guy comes up to the front desk and asks for help saying "The computer just started typing in latin, I can't understand it." I go to see what he's talking about and it turns out he was just typing in italics.
Mari Gilfoil

My mom sent me an email with the subject as my cell phone number. The email said "Is this a text?"
Hannah L

My mom has 10 4-GB flash drives on a keychain that she carriesaround. She uses separate drives so she can "find her files" easier.
Rachel Griffeth, UGA

Mydad and I were watching a golf tournament which we had Tivo-ed the daybefore. Because he had never used Tivo before he was very confused tobegin with but after ten minutes of explanation he seemed to get thejist of it. So as I was fastforwarding past the commercials I went atad too far and we ended up watching the end of a fairly long missedputt. So I rewinded a little to see who took the putt and as we watchthe same exact putt from the beggining my dad gets up from his chairand starts yelling "get in the hole... GET IN THE HOLE!" The puttmissed just like it had the first time.
Tom Jard

My dad was trying very hard to drag and drop the internet browsing window into the recycling bin. When I asked him what he was doing he told me, "I want to delete the internet from my computer."
Dylan G

After getting no response from my turned-off cell-phone, my mom decided the best way to contact me was to send the following text message: "please turn your phone back on and call me."
Christine X, New York University

I'm at home for the summer, so I use my parents' computer instead of my own. I went on my bank's website to check my balances and left the window open when I got up to go to the bathroom. When I came back, my mother alerted me that she had seen that I left my bank info up, and so she closed the window. When I asked why, she responded, "Because if it's up on the screen for a long time, someone on the internet will see it and steal it."
Rob Hamer, University of Florida

This week we have a very special Parents Just Don't Understand That Trying to Defend Themselves Just Makes Us Want to Mock Them Even More:

We understand that 75% of you can't make change or even know who the president is. We understand that we worked hard to pay the bills while you were in your diapers crapping all over yourself. We understand that today's college students are hedonists out looking for instant gratification. We understand that you can't write a business letter without a dozen typos, and that you can't say two sentences without using the work "like". I guess you're right, we don't understand much.
Claudias Dildas, South Oklahoma Institute of Massage

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