It's almost that time of year again when the ghouls and creeps come out and wreak havoc on the unsuspecting. To help you up your creep factor, here a few lines that youcan use to get in the spirit of things and hopefully help you go bump in the night!
Zombie: Hey there, have heard that rigor mortisis the new Viagra?
Frankenstein's Monster: (Pulls out a bolt) Trade you a bolt for a good screw?
Werewolf: What up, would it offend you if I humped your leg?
Hobo: Hey there, ever done it in a cardboard box?
Skeleton: Did youknow there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Banana: Am I ap-peeling to you?
Firefighter: How about you STOP talking, DROP your pants, and lets ROLL!
Hotdog: That's a nice set of buns you gotthere, mind if I stick my foot-long there?
Policeman: Good thing I'm here, it has to be illegal to look that good.
Pirate: That is quite a booty you've got there.
UPS Guy: Excuse me, Miss, could you sign for this package?
Angel: Hello, I am the answer to you're prayers.
Greek: Wanna see my Trojan Horse?
Vampire: If you play your cards right, you mightbe the one who sucks tonight.
Prisoner: At this point, I'll take anything.
Of course, what list wouldn't be complete without a fewlines for those especially cute costumes you might come across.
Zombie: Oh my, you look dead, sexy.
Devil: Let's head back to your place, since I'm going there anyway.
Witch: I like your wart, want to see a few of mine?
Nurse: Nurse, can I have a little sugar to help the medicine go down.
Cat: That's a nice pussy; the costume is pretty good too.
Anyone: That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I'd be coming too.
by Owen Parsons
by Andrew at SUNY Geneseo
by Jeff Rosenberg at NYU
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Make sure you know what you're really eating this Valentine's Day. $('#chocolate').translate({ 'tag_name': 'span' }); !split Illu
It's like a TV show that makes you want to buy body wash.
It's probably just the microphone. I'm sure this transvestite usually sounds lovely.
Recording...
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