Halloween 2009

Ever gone to a Halloween party and found another Frodo?  Another Snow White?  Another Batman or Superman?  Well, cool folks, here is a list ofcompletely un-nerdy costumes that are unlikely to be anticipated or replicated in any venue. 


1.  BibleMan, from the little-known "BibleMan" television series

Accessories needed:
    Bible
    Sword of Spirit
    Sense of righteousness

The Good:
    *Decreases chances of rotting in hell
    *Can hold flask in hollowed-out Bible
    * Comes with a sword
   
The Bad:
    *Increases chances of getting the crap kicked out of you
    * Can lead to drunken Scripture-quoting
    *A Sword of Spirit does not work like a lightsaber
  

2.  The Shoveler, from "Mystery Men"


Accessories needed:
    Shovel
    Construction helmet (with working light)
    Non-supportive wife and family

 The Good:
    *Involves William H. Macy
    *Simple prop
    *Can be perceived as a real weapon by fans

The Bad:
    *Involves "Mystery Men"
    *Heavy prop
    *Can be perceived as a real weapon by security


3.  TurboMan, from "Jingle All The Way"


Accessories needed:
    Austrian accent
    Jetpack
    Son whose love depends on Christmas presents

The Good:
    *Awesome jetpack
    *Good insulation
    * Follows in the footsteps of Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Bad
    *Less awesome jetback than Boba Fett
    *Takes three hours to get on and off
    *Looks way less cool not on Arnold Schwarzenegger

  
4.  The Hunter, the never-seen villain from "Bambi"


Accessories needed:
    Shotgun
    Invisibility cloak
    Family to feed
    Deer carcass

The Good:
    *Easy costume to assemble
    *Get to carry a shotgun
    *Fresh meat for all to share 
    *Unlikely costume to be copied

The Bad:
    *One of the most hated movie characters ever
    *Have to carry an unloaded shotgun
    *Dead deer
    *Unlikely costume to be copied for a reason


5.  Uncle Owen, from "Star Wars:  A New Hope"


Accessories needed:
    Surly attitude
    Bocce-speaking droid (with accompanying moisture vaporator)
    Annoying nephew (whiny voice preferable)
    Sense of impending doom

The Good:
    *Potential to go commando
    *Represent hard and honorable labor
    * Can parter-costume with a Beru

The Bad:
    *Have to wear a dress
    *No lightsaber
    * Have to parter-costume with a Beru

 
6.  Aunt Beru, from "Star Wars:  A New Hope"


Accessories needed:
    Desert igloo
    Bocce-speaking droid
    Blue milk
    Sense of impending doom

The Good:
    * Only significant human female "A New Hope" character besides Princess Leia
    * Has a hardworking husband
    *  Died a honorable death at the hands of the Imperial Stormtroopers
    * Can partner-costume with an Owen

The Bad:
    *Significantly less attractive than Princess Leia
    *Does not have Han Solo
    * Killed by the army with the worst aim ever
    * Have to partner-costume with an Owen
   

7.  Shortround, from "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom"


Accessories needed:
     Yankee cap
      Adorable scampiness
      Stereotypical Asian accent (best if mildly offensive)
      Tolerance for screechy blondes and spontaneous heart-removals

The Good:
    *Associated with Harrison Ford
    *Get to show support for a winning baseball team
    *Many nicknames
 
The Bad:
    *Associated with Kate Capshaw
    *Have to show support for the Yankees
    *Negative connotations of always referred non-specifically to as "short"

 
8.  Radioactive Man, from "The Simpsons"

Accessories needed:
     Super powers
     "Fallout Boy" sidekick
     Lead-plated boxers

The Good:
     * Awesome in every way
     * Survived an atomic bomb in pants
     * Has a catchphrase ("Up and atom!")

The Bad:
     * Nothing.  Radioactive Man is awesome.  Everyone should be Radioactive Man.