Roommate Confessions

Issue 101

by Jeff Rosenberg November 02, 2009

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Remember how you stole that 200 dollars that we raised together? I used to play a game whenever you weren't around. It was called "Spit In Your Expensive Vintage Guitar." I always won.
Phill A., School Not Given

Emilio, remember the night after you watched Paranormal Activity, when you were dragged off your bed and into the hallway which caused you to piss your pants? I still get laughing fits remembering that.
Xaeroe Ecks, UT

That wasn't pink eye. I put some steel wool shavings in your contact case and dipped the tip of your eye liner in dish soap.
Dee B, BSC

You wrote in to Roommate Confessions to brag about a prank you pulled on me. A prank that resulted in severe bodily injury. Well, I never mentioned it, but I did bookmark the page and show it to my parents. And our lawyer. And the dean. Guess what, dumbass? You might've looked like a badass on the internet for fifteen minutes, but you're the one who got kicked out of college and is getting sued for every cent you're worth. Checkmate, bitch.
John T., School Not Given

Hey CW. Remember all those nights you kept me out of the dorm room 3-4 nights a week, so you and your g/f could bang each other? (Is she still a screamer?) After 22 years I finally know how my revenge turned out. I just interviewed your kid and he is just as much of a brown-nosing, arrogant douche bag as you were while trying to tell me a very different version of how well you and I got along as roomies. After I looked at his birthday and did the math, I now know my insulin needle and your stash of condoms worked, or in your case, didn't work. I guess the stories I had heard long ago about a shotgun wedding really were true after all. Oh by the way, Jr didn't come out as a top 5 pick in the selection by my office manager. I hope he checks out CH and can pass the news back to you. The timing of meeting him and finding this site were a dream come true.
J.B., NCSU

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