 | PREPORIOUS DOUCHEBAGIUM "Preppy Douchebag" Pickup line: "You would look good sunbathing at my Nantucket summer cottage." Found: Ivy League campuses, smoking clubs, Rugby stores Wears: Polo shirts, boating shoes, suits at inappropriate times Thrives on: "Intellectual" discussions, purebred dogs, wine coolers Weakness: Actually intellectual discussions. |
 | FRATERNITORUS DOUCHEBAGIUM "Frat Bro Douchebag" Pickup line: "I made this drink for you." Found: Beer pong championships, The Game, not lectures Wears: College apparel, Birkenstocks with socks, puca shell necklaces Thrives on: Natty Ice, cold pizza, the blood of sorority freshmen Weakness: Correct spelling and grammar. |
 | PRETENTIOUSIAL NERDUS DOUCHEBAGIUM "Pretentious Nerd Douchebag" Pickup line: "You can trust me, I'm a Doctor...Who." Found: Mom's basements, LAN parties, GameStop Wears: Literally anything he finds in his closet/what his mom buys for him Thrives on: Video game smack talk, sci fi smack talk, math. Weakness: Girls. |
 | HIPSTERIOR DOUCHEBAGIUM "Hipster Douchebag" Pickup line: "You look like an American Apparel model." Found: Coffee shops, poetry readings, his own tormented thoughts Wears: Flannel, inappropriately tight pants, inappropriately large glasses Thrives on: Hand-rolled cigarettes, vegan food, irony Weakness: Failed irony. |
 | GUIDORIAL DOUCHEBAGIUM "Guido" Pickup line: "Wanna ride an Italian stallion?" Found: New Jersey, Long Island, Queens Wears: Gold chains, hair gel, the Italian flag Thrives on: Club culture, body spray, Ma's lasagna Weakness: Culture. |
by Brian Murphy
by Emily
by Cyanide & Happiness
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
The Black Ranger is black... the Yellow Ranger is Asian... uh oh.
Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
It s the Tuesday before Valentine s Day, which means you only have six days to convince your girlfriend that you�ve been thinking about this occasion since the day you met. Luckily, I m here with a day-by-day breakdown of what you should be doing.
Hook ups can range from something to do on a Saturday night to life altering greatness. Here is the hook up hierarchy, Level 1 being the highest.
Wow, just, wow.
Recording...
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