Obi-Wan: I wouldn't worry. It's not like he'd be able to find you.
Uncle Owen: Oh yeah, I'm sure the Emporer's right hand man would never think to check his home planet, his only living relative, or the only other person in the galaxy named "Skywalker." Can't we call him something else? How about Luke Smith?
Obi-Wan: Luke Skywalker. Check the birth certificate.
Uncle Owen: But if we named him ANYTHING else, it might be at least slightly harder to find him.
Obi-Wan: What are you even worried about? Anakin would never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it.
Uncle Owen: Didn't you say he killed a bunch of kids?
Obi-Wan: Ohhhhh right. That. Yeah, he killed a ton of Jedi toddlers - we call them Padawans - and yes,
they are the cutest things in the galaxy. They've got these mini-lightsabers and little robes. So adorable. But yeah, he slaughtered them all without even a hint of remorse.
Uncle Owen: Why couldn't he live with his sister Leia? She doesn't have to keep his last name, or live on a desert planet ruled by giant slugs where all we have to drink is blue milk.
Obi-Wan: No, trust me, this is the best way. Don't worry - I'll be close by if you need anything. I'll have you know I learned a pretty amazing power in case ol' Anakin ever comes back.
Uncle Owen: Yeah, what is it?
Obi-Wan: Right when he thinks he's got me...I'll let him slice me with his lightsaber and kill me. But then I'll be a ghost!
Uncle Owen: HOW WILL THAT HELP ANYTHING?
Obi-Wan: Well...ya know. I can give Luke advice and stuff. Like "use the force." But all ghost-y.
Uncle Owen: Couldn't you tell him that while you're alive?
Obi-Wan: No, dying is a solid plan. If it makes you feel better, I know where the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy is.
Uncle Owen: Where?
Obi-Wan: Wandering around a swamp, lifting stuff with his mind. Also, he's a muppet. A dyslexic muppet.
by Jeff Rosenberg at NYU
by Andrew B. at Purdue
by AmazingSuperPowers
the iPad is so stupid that the number of comedy possibilities is just... astounding.
Gmail, Firefox, YouPorn and more speak up to keep you from doing your work.
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Look out for d-bags and children on leashes.
Why stop yourself from having sex with your mom, when you can make it a threesome?
Wow, just, wow.
Hook ups can range from something to do on a Saturday night to life altering greatness. Here is the hook up hierarchy, Level 1 being the highest.
It s the Tuesday before Valentine s Day, which means you only have six days to convince your girlfriend that you�ve been thinking about this occasion since the day you met. Luckily, I m here with a day-by-day breakdown of what you should be doing.
Recording...
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