Genitals: YESSSSSSS!!!!! We rule, man. This chick is amazing! She's going down the pants and we're still at the bar! It's gonna be a good night, man. What? Brain said she's heinous? What does that idiot know? If it were up to him we'd be sipping mochas and reading some stupid poetry book. Listen, have I ever let you down? Well, have I? That's what I thought"¦no. Sure, sometimes I make bad choices for but I'm just a bundle of nerves, blood and muscle, not a rocket scientist. Yes, that time in Amsterdam was pretty bad, but who suffered worse? All you had to do was rub some cream on me but I was covered in sores for a month"¦a month, Street. I may have made bad choices before, but this time I'm positive that I'm right. Hell, I'm the reason we went out tonight in the first place. You're not going to leave me hanging are you? Now, forget all that garbage that Brain was talking, this is the girl for you. Look at those curves"¦she's like a race track! And I know you hate girls that are too skinny so this one is perfect. What? She missing teeth? What good are teeth anyway? They just get in the way and have the potential to seriously harm me. What are your other options? Sitting in your room alone tonight and beating me?"¦please, not another night of that. I beg you. So, let's pony up and get on with it. If you pass this up, the next time you find yourself in a situation like this I might not feel like "getting up,"¯ if you know what I mean. Oh, but Brain has one good point, I probably should be wearing my "raincoat"¯ tonight.
by Neil Janowitz
by Streeter Seidell at Fordham
by Julie Kraut
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