Talk about a headline that grabs your attention. Stop the presses. Hold the goddamn phone. Operator, trace this call. Has it actually been a year? Is it really time for National High Five day again? Did I black out and miss Christmas? The answer to all of those questions is a resounding yes. The rumors are true. National High Five Day is back and blacker than ever.

For the uninitiated, the thing that you need to know, first and foremost, is shame on yourselves. Did you seriously not know about National High Five Day? It's only the most prominent "made up holiday that is annually desperately being promoted as a real holiday"� around. I mean, honestly. By the way, rookie, the pope is dead and Michael Jackson kissed Macauley Caulkin on the mouth. But more importantly, National High Five Day falls on the third Thursday of every April, and is a holiday devoted to celebrating the high five and specifically to giving as many high fives as possible. It's really fun to actually do, you just walk around the entire day throwing the fiver in the air to passing strangers. Then, wait to see their confused expressions melt away right before they throw you back the first high five they have busted out since, well, probably since they were cool and you weren't conceived yet. And that's the whole holiday. The beauty is in the simplicity.

Things that have gotten done since last year's NHFD:

1. The Proclamation. We sent a mass email to our local city government here in San Diego asking them to be the first city to get the ball rolling and officially recognize National High Five Day as a legitimate holiday. Unfortunately, we received an email from the mayor absolutely refusing to do any such thing and claiming to have no jurisdiction to even consider such a request. Fortunately, about an hour later, we got an email from Deputy Mayor Michael Zuckett with a subject line that read "Sure Thing."� He agreed to issue a proclamation on official city parchment basically saying whatever we wanted. It's on the website, check it out. And a big "here here"� for city governments where the right hand doesn't know who the left hand is high fiving...

2. Publicity. We caught some great breaks last year. We took turns saying ridiculous stuff on a bunch of radio interviews across the country. We scored two television interviews, and only accidentally slept through one of them. Apparently, we even got mentioned on The Jimmy Kimmel Show, but unfortunately it was on one of the nights that fell smack dab in the middle of a lifelong streak of not watching The Jimmy Kimmel Show.

Sure, those accomplishments were nice. But at the end of the day, we don't want to just rest on our laurels. Hell, we aren't even sure we have laurels. To be honest, that might even be a word for a woman's lady parts, for all we know. Besides, National High Five Day is about expanding. It's about getting bigger every year, and it's about seeing just how far you can take one drunken idea from one night in a bar if you just keep relentlessly pushing and pushing and pushing. So who's coming with me?

Things we still want to do:

First Action Item: Get the day off from work for everyone. Sure it might be difficult, but it would be awesome. If you ever wanted to voice your opinion in local, state, or national politics but none of the issues have really moved you (the environment, the economy, the fact that George W. Bush used to snort cocaine off his own dick), this could be perfect. Write emails to officials. Write letters. Show up at their offices. Run for their offices in the next election. It's time to take the fight right to the doorstep of these Washington fat cats.

Second Action Item: College lemonade stands. This was our entire first campaign. You just go to wherever legitimate causes at your school set up shop and start a lemonade stand that gives away free lemonade and high fives. Email us pictures, you can be sure we'll put them up.

Third Action Item: Sell out. Another year has gone by and we haven't figured out a way to prostitute this thing away for a buck. Desperation is setting in. My idea was to just ask people to give us money for no reason, preferably starting at five dollars. And just see what happened out of curiosity. Absolutely nothing offered in return. Paypal accepted: NHFD.com

In conclusion: Live the dream. Have a ball. Be the difference. Rock the boat. Rock the vote. Knowing is half the battle. Showing up is half of the job. And it's 90% mental. Ask not what your country can do for you. Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk. Give each according to your abilities, receive according to your needs. And if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. National High Five Day, April 21st, 2005. This year it's for all the marbles.