Ah, College
"I left my heart in sophomore year."

I've been in college for two years now. This Fall, I'm going to be a junior. It really makes you think of all the things that will change. Like...um...when people ask if I'm a sophomore, I'll be able to say, "No, I'm a junior."

I guess that's about the extent of the change...

-My friends tell me how afraid they are to show bad grades to their parents. I get loans and pay my own way, so my parents don't have to see my grades. It's really cool. At least, it was until last week, when a bank teller grounded me for that D.

-It figures. It's my last week here and I finally figure out there's a gym in my building. I wish I'd have known about it sooner. I could've...you know, told motivated people where they could go to exercise.

-People shouldn't argue about their finals woes with me. Their problems probably involve having too many. My problem involves having one during the series finale of "Friends." Regardless of who wins the argument, I guarantee I will walk away feeling much better than the other person.

-As I look at my room for the last time, I think of all the good times I've had there. Then I think about how much I'm going to miss it. And then I think, "Man, I bet housing is really going to wonder how I got all those crumbs on the ceiling."

-There's a small fine for people who leave stuff in their room after they leave. Hmmm. Would college students really pay twenty dollars just to avoid a little cleaning? And more importantly, would the school like our money in the form of cash or check?

-At the end of the year, my sleep schedule is so messed up that I go to sleep at six every morning. It won't be like this when I'm home. Specifically, with a house that has digital cable, I'm thinking I can work this whole "sleep" thing out of the equation.

-For a change of pace, I think I'll get motivated and get a job this summer to make some extra money. Sigh. I'll just stop there. That last statement was a joke long before I actually got to the punch line.

-Lastly, I want to congratulate all my friends who are graduating. It's hard to put into words how much I'll miss you guys. But I think it goes something along the lines of, "Nah nah, nah nah nah, I get to stay in college and drink for two more years and you have to get a real job!"

And I mean that, from the bottom of my heart.