Articles Archive
6 total on Thursday, May 8th
Guy: 14 hours of travel later... here we are... Germany.
Girl: The country of love...
Waiter: HIER IST SEINE FLASCHEN!!!
Girl: OH MY GOD!!!
Guy: Let me check my book. Okay, according to this, he's whispering "Here are your beers."
Girl: Oh. Thank You!!!
Guy: Now we are supposed to clink our glasses together as hard as humanly possible and yell, "PROUST!"
Girl: Oh. Haha, Okay, be careful though, I can't get any beer on my black turtleneck.
They clink their mugs together
Girl: WATCH OUT! A droplette of beer almost landed near me!
Guy: Harder.
Girl: No.
They clink mugs again.
Girl: Okay, I definitely felt some beer land on my black turtleneck!
Guy: Harder. Now.
Girl: NO! This is my only black turtleneck. Our luggage was lost, remember?
Guy: When in Rome!
Girl: We were just IN Rome. We left because you hated it, remember?!
Guy: JETZT!!!!
They bang their mugs again. Beer spills over a little.
Girl: I WANNA GO HOME!
Girl: The country of love...
Waiter: HIER IST SEINE FLASCHEN!!!
Girl: OH MY GOD!!!
Guy: Let me check my book. Okay, according to this, he's whispering "Here are your beers."
Girl: Oh. Thank You!!!
Guy: Now we are supposed to clink our glasses together as hard as humanly possible and yell, "PROUST!"
Girl: Oh. Haha, Okay, be careful though, I can't get any beer on my black turtleneck.
They clink their mugs together
Girl: WATCH OUT! A droplette of beer almost landed near me!
Guy: Harder.
Girl: No.
They clink mugs again.
Girl: Okay, I definitely felt some beer land on my black turtleneck!
Guy: Harder. Now.
Girl: NO! This is my only black turtleneck. Our luggage was lost, remember?
Guy: When in Rome!
Girl: We were just IN Rome. We left because you hated it, remember?!
Guy: JETZT!!!!
They bang their mugs again. Beer spills over a little.
Girl: I WANNA GO HOME!
It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.
Would You Rather...
- Work your dream job for no wages, relying only on welfare payments to survive, or sit naked in a completely empty white room from 8 to 5 Monday to Saturday for $5 million a year? From Sled
- Take a dump on an airplane, or take a dump on a train? From george
- Have the Darth Vader music play wherever you are, or have music from a 70's porn movie play wherever you are? From Lou
- Get caught reading CollegeHumor at work and have a talk about improper internet use with your boss, or HAVE F*CKING FUNCTIONAL ALT TAB BUTTONS?! From Elliott
- Be forced to notify those around you whenever you think of something sexual, or never have sexual thoughts? From Prieto
- Be stuck on a deserted island with Bear Grylls, or Jessica Alba? (Pre-pregnancy) From Greg
- Have a dinosaur that you could ride around on, or a dinosaur that could talk, but was too dignified to let you ride it? From Kurtis
Finally, this week's winner of the Jesus Christ I Hope This is Hypothetical Award is alex, who sent in this.
- Make her get an abortion that'll make you feel guilty your whole life or have the baby and give up on all your dreams? From alex
Alex, we are all here for you.
If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.
Cheating by Major
by Tommy Wilder May 08, 2008
Mathematics: Carve all of the formulas into the wooden notches of your abacus. Proctors can clear the memory of a TI-89, but they won't take the time to sand down your addition machine.
English: Discreetly conceal The Complete Works of Shakespeare under your tattered Pink Floyd hoodie.
Communication: Unnecessary. If you really need answers, just ask the guy sitting beside you. Your professor is probably willing to help out, too.
Theater: Use an understudy and sleep in. This is especially effective if your character wears a mask.
Philosophy: Get "enlightened" before the test. Like, enlightened out of your skull. Remember to bring snacks.
Contra: Up up down down left right left right B A start
Business: Politely remind the professor that you are a scholarship athlete.
Biology: Train a parrot to squawk the answers, and bring him to class. Your professor is likely an animal rights activist, so there's no chance he'll remove the bird from the classroom. (Unless it poops, then all bets are off.)
Elementary Education: Write the answers on the inside of your 64-color Crayola box.
Art: Starve a dog. Paint the answers on its exposed ribs.
Physics: Change majors. Seriously, what were you thinking?
English: Discreetly conceal The Complete Works of Shakespeare under your tattered Pink Floyd hoodie.
Communication: Unnecessary. If you really need answers, just ask the guy sitting beside you. Your professor is probably willing to help out, too.
Theater: Use an understudy and sleep in. This is especially effective if your character wears a mask.
Philosophy: Get "enlightened" before the test. Like, enlightened out of your skull. Remember to bring snacks.
Contra: Up up down down left right left right B A start
Business: Politely remind the professor that you are a scholarship athlete.
Biology: Train a parrot to squawk the answers, and bring him to class. Your professor is likely an animal rights activist, so there's no chance he'll remove the bird from the classroom. (Unless it poops, then all bets are off.)
Elementary Education: Write the answers on the inside of your 64-color Crayola box.
Art: Starve a dog. Paint the answers on its exposed ribs.
Physics: Change majors. Seriously, what were you thinking?
For many of you graduation is approaching fast, like a charging grizzly bear. Is it time to finally face the brutal mauling of real life? Just answer these six simple questions and find out!
Today's Hottest College Girl Matchup
by CH Staff May 08, 2008Here is today's matchup. Vote now, these girls are counting on you!
Lisa
