Articles Archive
6 total on Friday, May 9th
One of the defining characteristics of the traditional sitcom is the presence of three walls, which means driving a car through one of those walls is one of the most exciting things that can possibly happen. Here, collected for the first time anywhere on the Internet, are some of the most significant moments in the history of cars driving through walls on sitcoms.
Show: Full House
Episode: "Honey, I Broke the House" (Season 3)
Full House was a show that relished in the kind of wacky, "big" moments that drives a studio audience f*cking nuts, weather it be Rebecca bungee jumping, Michelle buying a donkey, or Joey going on a date (with a woman). It was inevitable that one of the Tanner brood (middle child Stephanie, as it turns out), would roll through Danny's kitchen wall. Note how, shortly after the car breaks through the house, young Michelle enters and punctuates the scene with a gag-inducing adorable punchline. This, it turns out, is one of the staples of sitcom car crashes-and not surprisingly, nobody did gag-inducing adorable like the pre-adolescent Olsen twins.
Show: Frasier
Episode: "The Innkeepers" (Season 2 - 1995)
You might not expect a show like NBC's Frasier stage the kind of four-wheeled mayhem featured in zanier shows like Full House and Family Matters. In part because Dr. Frasier Crane lives in a metropolitan high rise. But more significantly, shows like Frasier represent a sub-genre of more "adult-oriented" sitcoms (Friends, Seinfeld, Will and Grace, et al.) that's less likely to rely on slapstick for its laughs than the Tanners or Winslows. Then came "The Innkeepers", in which an elderly valet plows a diner's sedan through the wall of Frasier's new restaurant, proving that all the sophisticated observational humor the city can produce is no match for simple mass destruction. What worked for Urkel will work for Dr. Crane.
Wendell Blatt Goes Swimming
by Jake Hurwitz May 09, 2008
Female Lifeguard: That's Wendall Blatt you gay idiot. How can you even tell he's fat, he's wearing a big t-shirt.
Male Lifeguard: Trust me, he's fat as sh*t. Why else would he try to hide his body under a t-shirt?
Female Lifeguard: Duh, it's more comfortable. I wish I could swim in a t-shirt, but my boobs are too big.
Male Lifeguard: Doesn't my nose look retarded with this sunblock and aren't my glasses too big for my pea sized head?
Female Lifeguard: Yes.
Male Lifeguard: I'm a gay ass loser and now I'm going to blow my whistle at Wendell and tell him to stop hanging on the lane line.
Female Lifeguard: He's not hanging on the lane line, he's resting for one second, relax. You don't know how hard it is to swim in a soaking wet oversized t-shirt.
Male Lifeguard: Oh my God the water is changing colors near him. I think he's peeing. Look he's looking around to see if anyone is noticing.
Female lifeguard: So what? The pool is freezing. I pee in the pool all the time. God my nipples are hard.
This is my favorite picture of the week - it involves British lingerie models and Sex and the City. CLICK! [CelebSlam]
Former supermodel Stephanie Seymour is not important, but her weird nipple-showing dress sure is! [IDLYITW]
Amy Winehouse was arrested again this week for more crack crap, not for this ridiculous outfit. [WWTDD]
Boardroom Speech at Stay-Puft Marshmallows Inc - 1984
by Andrew B. May 09, 2008
Dear God! I mean...dear GOD! This is bad. Like, I'm talking reeeeeal bad. Remember that time that kid found the severed head of a leper in a bag of our marshmallows? That was the golden age compared to what we're up against now. I mean, have you seen the news lately? Did you guys hear about this craziness? What the hell happened, people?!
Okay, I don't expect to have anyone in this room own up to it - I doubt its even possible that anyone in this room could be responsible - but I'll ask anyway:
Did any of you authorize the creation of a 100-ft. tall marshmallow creature bearing the copyrighted Stay-Puft Marshmallow logo and bearing a very strong resemblance to our mascot? Huh?
Johnson! I think we should cut funding to our "genetic modification" sector. Just in case.
Today's Hottest College Girl Matchup
by CH Staff May 09, 2008Here is today's matchup. Vote now, these girls are counting on you!
Lauren
