Pwn My Life

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I skipped my Junior Prom to watch a Sci-fi Original Movie that was airing that night. I regret the decision only because the movie was Cube 2: Hypercube, and was nowhere near as good as the original.
-Owen Parsons

The first time I dealt with death was when a beloved neighbor of mine passed away. I was about 11. My Mom and Dad came to me and broke the news that she had died. I was sad, for sure, but I had also just gotten Mario 2 and all I really wanted to do was play it. So – and I still feel guilty about this – I said that I wanted to be left alone in my room because I was embarrassed to cry in front of everyone and wanted privacy. I spent the rest of the day happily playing Mario 2 and pretending I “wasn’t ready” to deal with the family whenever they would ask if I wanted to talk.
-Streeter Seidell

In 7th grade, I would get mad at my mom if she was late to pick me up from school. The reason I gave her was that I had a lot of homework to do, but in reality it was because Dragonball Z came on at exactly 3:30.
-Caldwell Tanner

I recently showed a girl my Mac Mini Boxee HTPC set-up. I explained it’s media playing capabilities and how it could be operated entirely by my phone. She said, “Just so I understand, you think this is impressive. Right?”
-Jeff Rubin

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

My cousin gave me a black eye once. He did it because I wouldn’t stop making fun of him, for thinking that Kirby was a Pokemon.
-Ty

I went over to a friend’s house after school one day in 6th grade because he found his older brother’s stash of Playboys. It was my first time seeing a naked woman. When I got home, my brother was in the basement playing our brand new N64 that my parents went out and bought that day but didn’t tell me about. I was pissed that I missed out on one hour of playing N64 to look at my first set of boobs.
-Steve

I once ended up in the emergency room with an IV for dehydration after playing Dance Dance Revolution for six hours on an 85 degree day.
-BA

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Back in 1997, my best friend called my mom to come pick me up from his 13th birthday party. We were playing Goldeneye, and I wouldn’t stop putting proximity mines at all the spawn points. We never spoke again.
-Griff

I pretend I’m Blastoise when I’m in the shower. I move left and right while facing down the shower-stream, so the water passes by my shoulders like hydro cannons.
-Adam

I quit my middle school cross country team because I never got home in time to watch Dragonball Z at 5:30.
-Anonymous

I was watching a movie and there was a flashback to 1997. The character was using a 2008 HP laptop and it was running VISTA. I got so mad that I turned it off.
-Taylor

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

When I was 10, I got hypothermia because I stood in an EXTREMELY cold lake for over an hour without moving. I did this because, in my head, I was training my body and mind to one day be able to defeat Kakarot.
-Anonymous

When I was in sixth grade, I emailed the local TV station to tell them to change Pokemon from 3:30pm to 4pm, so that I would have enough time to walk home from school. It was one of the proudest moments of my life when they actually changed it.
-Jon C.

I play iPhone games at every red light.
-Anonymous

When I was nine, my cousin bought The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. I was amazed with the game, but it terrified me when Link screamed when he had to wear a mask. When I was playing and had to use one of them, I’d pressed the button and run out of the room until the transformation was over. I didn’t know you could skip the scene at the time.
-Rafael

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

99% of my mp3s are Japanese anime openings and Dragonball character themes. Whenever someone asks what I’m listening to, I change the track before lending them my headphones. It’s the only reason I have Eminem songs on my iPod.
-Anoymous

My most athletic feat was outrunning groups of twelve-year-olds into a movie theater to get good seats for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I waited outside for hours on opening day to be at the front of the line, but the theater foolishly didn’t set up a queue to get into the auditorium itself and it turned into a free-for-all. That was the year I graduated high school.
-Anonymous

Whenever I’m having a rough time in the bathroom, I pretend I’m turning into a Super Saiyan.
-Richard

Everything I know about kissing I learned from the South Park episode, “Butters Bottom Bitch.” Someday I hope to use that knowledge.
-Anonymous (Age 17)

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I went to Karaoke and told my friend I wanted to sing Amish Paradise. He misheard me and submitted Gangsta’s Paradise. I sang Amish Paradise anyway, with no help from the monitor.
-Max

I recently got a rib cage tattoo that takes up my entire side. It’s a Harry Potter quote, translated into Latin. I tell everyone it’s a Kurt Vonnegut quote from Slaughterhouse Five so they’ll think I’m deep instead of nerdy. Also, I chose to go to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter instead of Europe for my graduation present.
-Anonymous Girl

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I made myself throw up twice at work the day after Starcraft II came out so I could go home and play.
-Julianna

While watching the movie “Get Smart,” I paused the movie about 30 minutes in to calculate if the skydiving scene was realistic. I converted the plane’s cruising height to the appropriate unit, found out how long it would take them to hit the ground, and varied for deceleration due to a brief parachute deployment. All in all the scene is plausible, but unlikely. I had to calculate everything twice because I forgot to vary for terminal velocity the first time.
-Mark

I’ve noticed that whenever I drive a ball in Tiger Woods my butthole clenches up as if i’m actually hitting the ball.
-Jeff

I’m getting married in a few weeks and I managed to convince my bride-to-be to make our first dance as husband and wife the Mario Kart Love Song.
-Josh

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

In high school, I would tell people that the reason I never went to any parties on Saturday nights (not that I was invited to any) was because I didn’t want to miss Justice League Unlimited.
-Brady

One day, I got a call from my grandmother who asked me to hook up my Nintendo so my younger cousin could play it while she stayed with her that summer. Excited that my grandmother had found my old nintendo that I had missed since my childhood, I took off work early to claim what was rightfully mine. With great anticipation of playing some of the all time great games on arguably the best system ever, I get home to find that it was my old PS2 she had discovered. I was instantly pissed.
-Andy

I started dating my first girlfriend shortly before we both went away to different colleges. As a fun way to get things going when I went to visit her one weekend, I proposed we play strip Tekken 4. I thought I had devised the perfect way to get her naked and boost my ego at the same time. She button mashed and got me completely naked before she took anything off.
-Zach

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I’ve added “headshot,” “pwn,” “pwned,” “noob” and various other 1337 words to the spell-check dictionary on my computer.
-Mark

When I was 7, I was playing Pokemon Blue on a long car ride to the beach. I had just caught Zapdos and it was the greatest moment of my life. Then the bumpy car, no back-light, and my penchant for car sickness, made me throw up on myself. My Dad pulled the car over while my Mom cleaned me off. Then she did the unthinkable and turned off my Game Boy before I was able to save my progress. I was so angry and upset that when we got back on the road, I turned the Game Boy back on and played until I threw up again.
-Duvey

A really romantic moment in my relationship was when my boyfriend changed his Modern Warfare 2 clan tag to my name and I changed mine to his.
-Liz

I bought Starcraft 2 the day it came out. During checkout, I asked for $40 cash back. However, once I had the game in my hands, I ran out of the store to get home to play it. I forgot to take my money. I don’t even care. The game is so sick!
-Colin

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I bought the Lego version of Boba Fett’s Slave One and tried to put it together as soon as I got home. When I got to the last page of instructions, I realized I was missing an important piece that was unique to the set. I was sure I hadn’t lost it, so I knew Lego had shorted me the piece. I couldn’t even find a suitable replacement in my three gallon bucket of Legos. I was furious. I complained to my mom, the store where I bought it, and even wrote a letter to Lego. This was 3 years ago. I was 18 years old.
-Riley Peterson (CH Intern)

When I was younger, about 6, I purposefully peed on my underwear (as in, took them off and peed on them) so I’d have to change. I had a pair Super Mario 3 underwear and I was really happy when I got to wear them.
-Ricky

After I captured all 150 Pokemon, my friend told me that the only way to get Mew (#151) was to visit a secret location you lose access to once you beat the game. I deleted my completed game in order to start over, at which point my friend told me he made it all up. I never spoke to him again.
-Owen Parsons

I just moved most of my Dungeons and Dragons books over to my girlfriend’s house. I consider this a bigger step than keeping a toothbrush in her bathroom.
-Ash

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I broke up with my girlfriend because I found a strategy guide for Mario Galaxy 2 in her room. I don’t date cheaters.
-Ian

A couple weeks ago there were tornado warnings all over my county. When the sirens went off I ran upstairs, emptied my dresser drawer, stuffed it with soft clothes, unplugged my N64, shut it in the drawer, grabbed my phone and The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time: Gold Edition and ran into the basement.
-Jake

I recently installed an electricity outlet inside the bathroom of our house so that my DS won’t run out of power while I’m doing my business.
-Omar

I made over $200 in tips last week. I spent it all on Rock Band DLC.
-Chris

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I got in trouble for something back when I was six. I don’t remember what. Due to parental politics, my dad had to prove to my mom that he could suitably punish me. He deleted my Zelda Ocarina of Time save and grounded me from playing. I had just beat the Great Deku Tree for the first time. I was so traumatized that I cried for three days. Congratulations, Dad.
-T. Wrecks

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail

A few weeks ago, I came inches from causing a high-speed car accident. I was so excited about getting Aquaman in my Happy Meal that I couldn’t wait until I got home to play with it.
-Chase

When I was a kid, I was extremely excited when our local Blockbuster got a demo N64. I played it for two hours, then went home and wrote down everything I could remember. Years later, my older brother found that laminated Pokemon binder. He still makes fun of me for writing, “Note: Secret Z button on back of controller.”
-Steve

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

After an all-nighter of Halo 3, I decided to play a little 1v1 with my twelve-year-old daughter. After 30 minutes of her killing me with the needler and tea-bagging me, I finally snapped. I grounded her for a week and forbid her from going to her friend’s birthday party.
-Dad

I used to get shot down by a lot of girls when I explained what my rebel alliance and galactic imperium tattoos meant. Now I tell them they’re alternate symbols for yin and yang.
-Pablo

I am a FIFA maniac. After playing ’09 for about a year, I thought I was ready for ’10. I bought the game and started manager mode immediately. After a grueling week of league and cup matches, developing players and ruthless trades, I faced lowly Wigan for the second to last game of the season. They were in 15th place, and I didn’t take them seriously. After losing 4-2, I turned off my xbox, went in my room and cried.
-Lev

I just told a girl who was flirting with me that I was going to sleep, and then I watched the Nerf episode of Bleep Bloop.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

In between 6th and 7th grade I built two decks of Pokemon cards. Then I spent most of the summer dueling myself on a playmat in my room by myself.
-Anonymous

I’m getting married next week. I had my bride-to-be’s ring made out of palladium instead of gold or silver, because that’s what Iron Man’s core is made from.
-Moe

My professor was using superheroes to illustrate a point in class and referred to Thor as having “radioactive powers.” I was so mad that I walked out.
-Anonymous

i just had a fight with my girlfriend because she was playing MW2 with other guys. I felt cheated on.
-John

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I just found out that I have a (relatively minor) type of cancer. I was going over worst case scenarios in my mind, and the first thing that popped into my head was “If I die, it better not be until I at least get the chance to play Mass Effect 3.”
-Dan

The only way I can motivate myself enough to work out is by pretending I’m a Saiyan warrior training to take on Freeza.
-Anonymous

The other day I caught A Shiny Chansey, and I screamed so hard that I gave myself a hemorrhoid.
-JD (Age 21)

Some people imagine an angel and a devil on their shoulders when they have to make a tough decision. I imagine Batman on one shoulder and Deadpool on the other. When I have a really tough decision, Green Lantern and Wolverine join them.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I once tried to give up videogames for Lent. One day in, I changed it to only six hours of video games a day.
-Forrest

I haven’t bought any of the Harry Potter movies on DVD yet, because I’m waiting for the 7-film box set.
-Anonymous

One time I was looking at porn on the Internet and came across a scantily clad picture of Supergirl. The caption was “I’d love to be Superman right now.” I stopped what I was doing and left a comment explaining that Superman and Supergirl were cousins. if anything, she should make you happy that you’re not Superman.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I used to be a really big nerd as a kid (and still am), but I remember being very lonely. In my free time from playing video games and reading books, I remember my best memories were on the playground running around pretending to play Quidditch by myself.
-Anonymous

When I was 10 my mom bought me “Battletoads and Double Dragon.” I had been begging her for it for weeks. I played through the first stage about 10 times, but the final boss, Abobo, would always kill me and I’d have to restart to level. I couldn’t believe I couldn’t even beat the first boss. Finally, I threw my controller down in a rage, ran into the living room sobbing and yelled at my mom for buying me such an impossibly hard game. Then I cried in my room for at least an hour.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I was re-reading Scott Pilgrim at school when some dude enthusiastically came up to me and said, “Hey, you read manga too?” I resisted the urge to laugh in his face and merely turned my back on him. I mean, do you see me reading the book backwards?
-Anonymous

Last week I went to the optometrist and found out I needed a stronger prescription. My new insurance won’t cover contacts, which I’d been trying to wear in an effort to look cool. I had to settle with a thick-framed Medicaid issued pair of glasses. Defeated, I decided to embrace my dorkiness and immediately ran to the nearest Gamestop and bought Fallout 3.
-Grace

When I was younger, I would go over to my neighbor’s house because he had a N64. When he got Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time I spent hours watching him play. He would control and I would tell him what to do. One night after I went home, he decided to play without me. I missed the cut scene where we find out that Sheik is actually Zelda. When I found out the next day I tried to beat him up and his mom kicked out me out. Then I went home and cried.
-Anonymous

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Dorkly.com, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I recently had a bad break up with a long-term girlfriend. To me, the worst part was coming to terms with the complete personality change she underwent afterward. Whenever I’m feeling down, I think of how much worse it must have been for Jim Raynor of StarCraft when Sarah Kerrigan became the Queen of Blades.
-Matt

I once spent 15 out of the 16 hours I was awake playing Runescape… on Christmas.
-Austin

I took the GRE recently. After the test I was presented with the experimental analytical writing section. This upset me greatly. I had just gotten through taking the GRE, the last thing I felt like doing was writing another essay. Instead, I ignored the prompt and wrote Dr. Who/ Halo crossover fanfiction. At least this way I figure someone will actually read it.
-Kevin