Roommate Confessions

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Josh, that weekend in first year when you went home and came back and your lamp was gone. I told you me and our other roommates got drunk and threw it off the balcony. I didn’t know at the time that your late grandfather gave it to you and you’d get all pissed off. Seriously dude, the lamp is in my closet, its been there for 3 years and now we are moving out for senior year come take your ugly lamp back.
H.Y., School Not Given

Dear Charles, You kept going through all of my things, eating my food, and stealing my money so I microwaved your PS2 memory card. I promise not to tell anyone you cried.
Mike C., School Not Given

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I had a roommate who loved to tell everyone that because I’m a theater major, I don’t have to work as hard as her, a nursing major, and I’ll never get anywhere in life because I don’t learn anything. One day I had had enough, so after she went to sleep I went outside and stuck $20 worth of Jolly Ranchers all over her car. Now when Jolly ranchers melt onto a car, they don’t come off unless you either pour endless amounts of hot water onto them and dissolve them or scrape them off and take the paint off with them. I may not know how to prepare and administer someone’s medication, but I definitely know how to f*ck up your car, b*tch.
Anna , Texas Tech

Remember when you had me smell your nasty pot of broccoli-and-cheese that you let sit in the sink for two weeks? Yeah, it was pretty nasty. Well, I’ve been saving my courtesy sniff. I’ve also been saving a jug of milk in the back of the fridge for two months. It’s actually fermented, and I’ve had to use adhesive to keep the top from shooting off. By the time you read this, I will have called in my courtesy sniff.
Jonathan H., School Not Given

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I took out my roommate’s pillow out of the pillow case and replaced it with a steel suitcase. Unfortunately, the loud ‘thud’ and subsequent ‘ow!’ came from his girlfriend when she apparently dove head-first into the pillow. I’m not sorry.
Roger West, Kutztown University

Hi, dude I roomed with for half a year in the army. Remember how you were always being a complete ass to me without any provocation whatsoever? Remember you took that course, but your license never ended up arriving? Well, it kind of did, but I had mail delivery duty that day, and thought the trash was a more suitable place for it. The world is better off without you in any position requiring a license, really.
F.J.

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

So I stole my roommate’s mattress and put his bed on pop cans. I took the mattress upstairs to the girl’s room that is absolutely obsessed with him. He does not like her and thinks she’s an absolute creeper. I made his bed back up and when he sat on it the cans collapsed. He spent 20 minutes searching for his mattress and another 20 trying to convince the girl to give his bed back. He didn’t think it was me, so he went and poured water on the guys bed he thought who did it. Sorry to both of you.
Dylan Helber, Capital University

Hey Stinky! I really hated that you insisted on sitting next to me everyday in history last fall, even though it was apparent that I could not stand the horrible odor that came from your body. T’was like a mixture of garlic, excrement, and depression all packed into one bag of shit. So I found it completely necessary during our first midterm, when I could no longer take your stank, to stand up midway through the exam and shout “QUIT LOOKING AT MY EXAM, D*CKHOLE!” Little did I know that you would end up getting kicked out of the class, but I suppose the F you received stood not only for failure, but for foul as well. It’s called deodorant; use it!
Matthew Malanche, CSU Fresno

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Hey neighbors to the north, remember how I asked you to keep your parties down some nights because I have to get up REALLY early for clinical? Well, I’m sure you’ll see my point when I play something really inspiring, like Ride of the Valkyries, at full volume, to wake myself up at 4:30, on the speakers that are mounted facing the wall we share.

H.A., ISU

I replaced the filling of your pillow with old asbestos insulation. Next time I go out of town don’t have sex in my bed cause you’re too lazy to put sheets on yours.
Andrew , Iowa State University

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate would always bring back these white trash/ hood rat/ disease infested girls back to the room every few so nights and they would always stink up the room or trash it. As revenge I got this haggard ass mattress that my uncle brought back from the Vietnam War and replaced his mattress with it. He just got over having lice, and now has some sort of flesh eating rash. Sorry Dude, but it’s for your own good.

Brad B., School Not Given

I chained your bike to your passenger side wheel so you wouldn’t see it before you drove away.
T.O., School Not Given

Yes Ross, it was me that peed into your car window that night. You were an ass, you punched my friend in the face, you never cleaned, and you smelled like a ten day old yeast infection. It was hilarious the next day when you came running upstairs blaming everyone for the urine soaked seat, steering wheel, and shifter knob. We convinced you it was some random act of tomfoolery. I have never laughed as hard as when both of us peed into your car when were totally gone.
Anonymous, School Not Given

My roommate last year would best be described as a chronic masturbator. If I were to leave the room for any amount of time, I would almost certainly return to an eye-full of him jerking it. In the first two weeks alone I walked in on him seven times. I have nothing against jerking off, but I had grown fearful of entering my own room. My initial attempts to get him to slow down were limited to public humiliation (logging onto his facebook and joining various masturbation groups the primary method) and were largely unsuccessful. But my master plan came to me soon. His sister was also a student at the school and I made it my goal to use her to destroy my

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Hey, annoying-as-hell roommate that insults everyone she meets and wonders why she has no friends. You haven’t washed a single dish since moving in, you take my food, you forget your keys and text me nonstop to open the door at 4 am, and you visited Japan once and think it gives you the right to slurp your soup as loud as you can. I put salt in the soil where you’ve been trying to grow a bonsai tree. You’re not Asian. You never will be. Shut up and wash your god damn dishes.

Jenna S., University of Victoria

Hey, remember how you and your friends tormented me the entire year by deliberately throwing parties in the room above my bedroom when you knew I had work the next day? And then remember how when I was out of town, you all got a little out of control and started stripping and taking photos? And how someone was stupid enough to post them on facebook? Yeah, I know you had them deleted, but not soon enough. I have them, and I’m sending them to your boss. Enjoy unemployment.
Vicki, School Not Given

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I only have the lord to thank that we didn’t have to live together, but when our ski team would take our trips were always had to share hotels and condos. Remember how I would spend hours cooking for the team and you would refuse to clean up because you had went out for dinner, and then come back at midnight and eat everything anyways? Or talk to the team behind my back about how my family didn’t have much money? Or keep me up until 2 or 3 in the morning because you would be fighting with your d-bag boyfriend on the phone, the night before races? Or how we got fined a bunch of money because you decided to wax your skis on the condo stairs, or all those times you let me unscrew full length courses by myself because you were tired? Well the night before our biggest comp I went to the ski locker and filed down your ski edges till they were rounded and rough, which might have been why you fell in the first run. not that it matters, because you can’t ski worth shit anyways. By the way, that time you got sick when we were at Mt. Washington might have had something to do with the fact that I used your toothbrush to clean that hairy, scummy bar of soap that the condo owners had left sitting in the shower. I hope you go find something you’re talented at. something that isn’t skiing.
Cassidy Shrite, School Not Given

You are probably the worst person in the Western Hemisphere, and I only knew you for 8 months. I was gracious enough to let you use my guitar and amp because you could not afford to bring your “sweet rig”. But after you blew my tubes by doing everything I told you not to do, then refused to buy me new ones and cutting all the strings on the guitar and stomping on my 300 dollar foot pedal, It was on. I sent you a fake email right before your finals about where to meet with a producer from Atlantic Records in L.A. that week. I started feeling bad as you pawned all your CD’s and your laptop for a trip to L.A. At least you had one last romp in the sun. Photoshop is rather convincing. BTW: Your music sucks.
James H, Lakehead University, Canada

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Hey fat*ss roommate, remember when I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years and you guys hooked up a week later? Well since you wouldn’t admit it I took a magnet and wiped down your laptop, TV, and your credit cards. It was so fun to see you panic when you couldn’t pay your tab at the bars or watch you fail your online class because you’re too lazy to wall to the library! Hah, don’t ever lie again or screw me over. Next time I’ll take a magnet to your GPS!
Anna P., University of Georgia

I love vampires. My roommate knows this. I put up a poster of a vampire on our door. It was like five feet tall. It cost me over twenty dollars. My roommate RIPPED IT DOWN. Literally ripped it in half. Needless to say I was pissed. So pissed I almost phased. Anyways. I went out and bought two new ones and put them above my bed. Then I printed out pictures of her head, life size, then drew blood on them and made her eyes red. I hung them all around the room kind of like birthday decorations, except of her bloody heads. Then I wrote her a note, in fake blood that said “touch my posters again and you’ll be bitten in the night….you big b*tch.” I guess it wasn’t that sneaky but she definitely got the message that my vampires are serious business. It might have been a little bit psycho but I creeped the shit out of her. She didn’t come back to our room for a week and switched her room assignment the next semester.
Anonymous, Wellesley College

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

After I had a party in our apartment, you complained about our tub being dirty because of my friends and I doing shotguns in it. So I cleaned the tub. I used your loofah to do it though. Then I used it to scrub the floors and walls and even our dirty fungus covered toilet. A couple weeks later, I put that same loofah in our clogged toilet (after another party). Then I put some of the trash into your soap. But it’s okay since you don’t actually use your loofah. I mean, you haven’t actually washed your dirty self in a week anyways? White trash.
Laura S, Towson University

So, you always thought you had complete rights to our room every weekend. You and your beastly girlfriend would lay up in your top bunk and do whatever it is wildabeasts do to reproduce. Your actions were inexcusable, and possibly illegal in several states. The after-sex smell on Monday mornings was horrendous… so I knew I had to put a stop to this. Luckily, bunk beds aren’t held together with cement. I loosened a few screws, pulled the beds apart just a bit, and waited for you two love-bears to come home. I wasn’t there to watch you two go at it, but I heard the outcome from across the hall. After the atom-bomb went off in my dorm room and you two left in anger, I had the room to myself. It was a good weekend, huh?!
Mike H., School Not Given

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I dated a girl who hated her roommate. On her last day of the school year she wanted to do something to really get back at this girl. So she asked what she could do. This was when laptops were pretty new and really expensive. I told her to press the screen really hard and break some pixels to ruin part of the screen (she really hated her). Well the roommate woke up to print out her final paper and the entire laptop wouldn’t turn on due to some kind of “failure.” I don’t know what happened with her and her final paper, but I only felt a little bad because it was only my idea. I didn’t actually do anything. But I never thought it would have broken the entire thing. Oops.

N.P., Saint Louis University

I am not the typical MIT student. I like parties, drinking and sex. Im like an Asher Roth song. The point is, my roommate is a loser d-bag who thinks he is god because he got into MIT on a full ride. He is 5’8’‘ 235 pounds milk white kid that plays WOW when he isn’t studying. He gets mad when I invite girls over to have some drinks, and can’t stand when I have sex in the room. He one time walked into my room while I was involved in my first threesome and sprayed us with a watergun. I needed revenge. His most valuable possession is his 2010 Mercedes truck. I am an engineering major so I know cars pretty well. I wired his remote starter to automatically release the emergency brake which he uses to park on the steep hill by our dorm’s side entrance. the last time he remote started his car to go to the library he walked outside to find his truck halfway through a concrete wall. The worst part is, he had to pay a fine. Oops, maybe now he’ll get a life and I won’t ruin it.
Jason B, MIT

One night I was lying on the couch watching TV in my room with a friend. I had no idea where my roommate was because he usually sneaks out to go hangout with his baseball friends or his dumbass girlfriend. So I give him a call and the phone rings right next to my face, stuck in the couch pillows. I picked it out and tried to turn down the volume by pressing the side buttons. Those buttons actually led me to a whole album full of naked pictures of his girlfriend. Her jahoobs were pretty weird.
Jake S., School Not Given

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate has this habit of going into my room when I’m not home and taking out my ferrets and rabbit and “playing” with them, despite my repeated requests that she not do so without my supervision. I believe I’m justified in this demand, considering she broke her chinchilla’s leg by mishandling it. Well, she hasn’t stopped, and since she’s scared of dogs and I work at my local Humane Society branch, two days ago I brought home an intact male pit bull to foster. I haven’t seen my roommate since. I think I’m going to keep the dog.

Anonymous, University of Missouri

MY lunatic roommate was obsessed with vampires. She would sit in the dark with fake fangs on and listen to The Cure. I got so sick of it I ripped her Vampire poster down, which I caught her making out with more than once. The next day she put pictures of me sleeping all over the room, and covered them in ketchup. I didn’t go back for a week. Next time you pretend you’re a vampire try not to cry so much, it doesn’t make you too intimidating.
Sarah Billingston, School Not Given

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate was this evangelical Christian homophobe. She used to sit up at night reading the Bible while trying to convert my sinning ways. (I had previously told her I was skeptical of Religion). In reality, I am atheist and a lesbian, which she believes is worst kind of sinner. Every Sunday she went to church I had sex with my girlfriend on her bed. Everyone knew but her, jokes on you biotch.
Simone Bouvois, FAU

Hey Chad, you know how you always complain about how dim it is in your room and your bathroom? Well, we replaced all your lights with 15 watt bulbs because we’re tired of paying ridiculous electric bills because your dumbass can’t flip off a switch. Oh and if you’ve ever wondered why your internet suddenly slows down while you’re doing the dirty deed, I set the wireless bandwidth on the router to 5 kb/s for your computer. You don’t leave your upload speed on your torrent program to Unlimited.
George Shinn, University of Iowa

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Remember how you stole that 200 dollars that we raised together? I used to play a game whenever you weren’t around. It was called “Spit In Your Expensive Vintage Guitar.” I always won.
Phill A., School Not Given

Emilio, remember the night after you watched Paranormal Activity, when you were dragged off your bed and into the hallway which caused you to piss your pants? I still get laughing fits remembering that.
Xaeroe Ecks, UT

That wasn’t pink eye. I put some steel wool shavings in your contact case and dipped the tip of your eye liner in dish soap.
Dee B, BSC

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I had a roommate freshman year who would always come home around 3 a.m and decided that she would much rather puke on the floor instead of the toilet. She did this every weekend. One night she came home, did the same thing and then she OFFERED me money to clean it up. I didn’t refuse because she offered me $50. While I was in the process of cleaning up her chunky vomit she said. “See I knew you would be good at cleaning up vomit. You’re Asian, you should be used to it.” As soon as she passed out, I grabbed the face towel I was using to clean up the vomit and wiped it all over her clothes and handbags. She woke up the next day wondering why her clothes smelled bad.
Anonymous, School Not Given

My roommate and I kind of get along, aside from her stealing my food when I’m not in the room, leaving her dirty clothes all over the floor of our dorm room, and from her never showering for the entire semester we were together. My friends are afraid to enter my room because of her body odor and how the stench will immediately stick to your clothing. And I’ve told her time and time again about the problem and how I “feel uncomfortable” being in the room when she’s there. Well, I got tired of it and took all of her dirty clothes, clean clothes, food, bed sheets, novelty plastic swords, and her “lucky pillow”, and threw it all out the window the day I moved out. I’m not really sorry she was fined for “throwing things down from the 12th floor window”.
Aiden Lane, VCU

My roommate freshman year took 12 credits and worked one day a week. He worked on Sunday at 9am so he was super anal if I made any noise after 10pm on Saturday night even though he would be loud all through the week when I had 8am class. Anyway I noticed that he started taking my sleeping pills, so to get back at him I switched out the pills for some extra strength No-Doz pills and left the bottle out in plain sight.
Matt B, Oregon State

That was actually a pretty good prank when you stole pictures from my Facebook and created a men seeking men add on Craig’s List. I really appreciated all 40 of the gay men in the Provo area asking me what I was doing that night. I hope you didn’t mind though when I had to take drastic measures to get the add off of there by calling the police. Sorry that I got that cop come by and pretend to arrest you. I thought that would have been enough but when you started crying and saying you didn’t do anything wrong just topped it off for me! The whole apartment building saw you looking like a baby, you puss.
Trey Welch, BYU

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Hey buddy, remember how you made fun of me for being Jewish all the time? Remember how you bullied that poor kid over Facebook and told him you would “crush him”? Well, I’m the one who made a fake email address for one of your professors and sent you to a fake Saturday class at 9am and made you write an essay in order to pass your class.

Amanda L, JMU

Hey Charlie, remember when you got locked in the bathroom for about 46 hours? And we started dropping stink bombs through the ceiling on you? That’s what you get for using our clean shower instead of cleaning your own shower.
L.M., Oklahoma State

I had a classic d-bag roommate. He ate my food, he had no income worth speaking of, and he never picked up his crap. I wanted him to move out but I’m a nice guy. One of my old friends from HS was going to be moving into our place, so I gave him very specific instructions on how to get rid of my d-bag roommate. When he first moved in, he told us he had one rule, not to drink all of the orange juice (exactly what I told him to do). Naturally the idiot ignores this and the next day my friend comes home to find that he is out of OJ. Immediately he starts stomping around shouting “WHO THE F**K DRANK MY ORANGE JUICE?” My roommate freaked out and sincerely believed that my friend was going to kill him just because my friend had a gun pulled on him. Some people are just paranoid I guess. Needless to say our plan worked and the d-bag moved out.
Trevor P., School Not Given

This kid made a totally unwarranted death threat to me on facebook, knowing the police wouldn’t do anything if I reported it, I decided to scare the living shit out of him. Being a hunter, I have a shotgun. At the local

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

I changed my roommate’s status to “Please pray for (roommate and his girlfriend). We decided to keep it.” I didn’t think your dad and girlfriend’s dad would give you such hell. You were a good roommate, but it was funny and I couldn’t pass it up.

Robert L., Georgia Southern

I was sick and tired of 1 of my 4 roommates always eating everyone’s food in the house. I had a bag of tortilla chips that was almost full but now was only 1/2 full. I was so pissed off that I started pulling handfuls of chips out of the bag, spitting on them and putting them back. A few hours later when I was upstairs trying to take a nap before my night job, I heard him go in the cabinet and ask my other roommate if these were his chips. The other roommate said no, and a few seconds later I could him crunching away. Needless to say I fell asleep laughing. When I woke up and went to the kitchen there was my empty bag of spit chips. Hope you enjoyed those hips you cheap bastard.
Anonymous, Winona State University

Hey Mike, sorry for planting condoms on you before your family holiday. I didn’t know the wrapper would come up on the metal detector. Hope your mom forgives you for carrying 37 condoms to the airport.
H.M., School Not Given

Hey roomie, thanks for eating all my food and drinking all my beer when you would come home wasted, while I was at work. Hope that package of hamburger you ate was delicious, because it was roadkill. Raccoon to be precise. At least I think it was raccoon.
Buzz Killington, SUNY Cortland

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate would come back drunk most nights, waking me up when I had early morning PT that morning. I had been wanting to rearrange my side of the dorm for a while. I waited until he left for a party then moved all the furniture around. He stumbled in that night, looked around and mumbled “Oh sh*t, wrong room” and stumbled out of the room. He didn’t return that night. The next day I heard people talking about this stupid freshman who was passed out in their underwear in the hallway.

Anonymous , Jacksonville University

I am the one who covered your fancy car in eggs, candy, and dog feces last May, Jessica. Never make fun of my nephew’s Down Syndrome.
Marie R, UofL

One day I decided to take some old rotting fish from a nearby market and rub it on every conceivable surface throughout my neighbors room (The two rooms are connected through the bathroom we share). I’m not really sure why I did it. I guess I was just bored after you sold my PS3, HDTV, and Blu-Ray player for cocaine you retarded sh*t-bag!
Brandon J., ECU

My neighbors have consistently been loud at very unusual times, such as Mondays at 3am. After a few times of politely asking them to cease and desist, my roommate and I grew weary of their shenanigans, which we could hear very clearly through our CEMENT walls. So after some poor pranks and a trip to the RA, we took matters into our own hands when they left a suitcase out in the hallway for a week. We kicked it towards their door in hopes they’d bring it in. Unfortunately for the eyesore, I came home very wasted one late night and pulled the trigger… into their bag. Not content with my insufficient amount of vomit, my roommate took an entire jar of pickle brine and poured it in. Next was a quart of generic brand V8. Happy packing!
Anonymous, Syracuse

One day while my roommate was in class, I overheard his girlfriend talking on the phone about an approaching job interview she was nervous about. I offered to help her out, and we kinda role-played the

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

My roommate sophomore year was a complete scumbag and loser. He was constantly stealing from my room and denying it, even when I found my stuff in his room. One night he decided to have a party at our place. I decided to be a nice roommate and make something for him to serve his guests. I baked a couple dozen cookies, each with 2 doses of exlax chocolate in it, and left it on our kitchen counter. Then I took all the toilet paper from the house and left. I came back later that night to find an empty plate on the counter, and nobody at the house. Turned out only a few people showed up for his “party” and the 5 of them ate all of the cookies.
Brian H., School Not Given

My first semester of Freshman year, I had a gay roommate who also happened to be the most despicable person I have ever met. His transgressions include: throwing random objects at me while I’m writing a paper, screaming obscenities at me and blaming it on Tourette’s, almost killing my friend by throwing a glass cologne bottle at his head, and trying (for 2 weeks straight) to get me to taste his orange flavored lube. One day, he claimed that he had put the lube in my mouth while I was asleep the night before. I got him back by dumping his entire supply of lube into his backpack. The next day, he woke up to go to class and put his laptop in his backpack. I awoke to him crying over his lubed-up laptop and dumping the rest of it onto his pillow.
Anders J., University of Nebraska

I used your facial sponge to exfoliate my downstairs so I wouldn’t get ingrown hairs.
Rachael Ward, School Not Given

It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

One night me and a bunch of friends decided to prank my roommate at the parking garage. We had these toy guns which we spray painted black, we also had on these black ski masks. So Friday night comes around and we all wait for him to get into his car, as he is about to exit we block him off and pretended to jack his car and rob him. He got so scared he quickly put his car in reverse and tried to run away, poor idiot didn’t even look back as he crashed into a truck rear completely totaled. Was not expecting that to happen we all ran away. Later my roommate spends a two hours telling me this story I was trying so hard not to die from laughter.
Justin C., University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign

Whenever my roommate snores too loud, I smack him in the face with a giant beach ball I got for free from some student organization. He’s a pretty heavy sleeper, so I usually throw it pretty hard. I’m never sure if he’s notice this or not.
Sam V., Boston University

I was sick of my roommate always bumming cigarettes off me. So I dumped the tobacco out of one and replaced it with the part of a miniature firecracker that goes boom, then covered it up with a little bit of the tobacco. The next time he asked, that’s the one I gave him. He hasn’t asked me for a cigarette since.
Max M.

My not so fond of roommate and I had just gotten back from a party 3 apartments down. He had brought this very hot girl back with him and all night at the party when she would be away, he would ask me how much I