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It beats Adam West’s portrayal back in 1000 B.C. It tops George Clooney’s hard nipple bat suit and it damn sure beats Christian Bale’s “on the toilet after eating Chipotle” Batman voice.The morning after pill, whiteout, tape, glue, Ctrl+Z — these are some of the great quick fixes in the world. BUT, none of them compare to blowing. That’s right, all it took was a huff, a puff and a blow into the cartridge and BOOM, it magically worked. Try blowing on your Call of Duty disc when it’s scratched, see if it works any better… (heads up, it won’t)If there was ever a good time to watch grown men lather up in baby oil and fake fight, it was the 90’s. At least we had The People’s Eyebrow, Hulkamania and Stone Cold, what’s the excuse for watching muscley, lubricated men rasslin’ now?

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Things look a little different when you’re drunk…

Sober ::: Drunk

A person being in the same orientation group as you, remembering your name, and seeming “nice enough” might seem like good enough reasons to give them your phone number, but by the time you’ve realized the error of your ways, your phone will be so inundated with “sup?“s, “u eat?“s, and 38-minute-long voicemails about how much sambuca they pretended to drink last night, it wont even be capable of calling the police when the dogged dialer “just happens to be passing by” your dorm room and wants to know why you haven’t answered them once since they accidentally sent you that picture that was totally supposed to go to their girlfriend and if you’d be interested in pledging a fraternity with them.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and according to your concerned Aunt Mitzi, none of them are “I’m a responsible human being that was raised properly.” You’d think a grown woman would be able to take a joke, or understand that other people can also read what is posted on your Facebook wall, but that won’t stop her from writing a concerned family member manifesto. Your newly confirmed friends will find her writing inspired, but the truth is, it’s nothing when compared to the essay she scribed when your high school friend, Rich, switched your status to “boobz.” The shame of it all is, no matter how many testicles can be seen in the picture, there’s nothing more embarrassing than someone thinking you actually had a chance at becoming president.

Love will make you do crazy things, like think “crazy” is a synonym for “annoying.” You will end up spending entirely way too much time, money, and effort trying to impress whoever it is that caught your eye. If you do somehow end up succeeding, all other aspects of your life will suffer immensely. Nearly half of all relationships end in respective roommates never wanting to see them again—and after being subjected to all of the pet names, baby talk, and having to wear pants, who can blame them? Heartbreak is tough, but having to eat alone in the dining hall is something you don’t come back from.

Nobody likes people who make hollow promises, especially when their bodies are anything but hollow. Do yourself a favor, the next time you’re eating a pizza and your friend complains about how out of shape they are, grab the pizza and run. You’ll lose both an unwanted friend and a couple of pounds. Win / Win!

Granted there are definitely some movies and shows that everyone NEEDS to see, we understand that, but ridiculing someone for not having seen them is not the way to go about it. First of all, it makes you look like a pretentious jerk with nothing better to do than voraciously consume media, and secondly, it creates an impossible benchmark of quality in their mind that this movie or show will undoubtedly have a very hard time living up to; So in summary: Yes, The Shawshank Redemption is a awesome, but is it worth ruining a friendship over? No. Never.

We asked you to tell us what are the most embarrassing things in the world, and after almost 2 million votes, the results are in:

You even knocked and got no response! That’s what happens when people bring their iPhones into the bathroom with them. Thanks again, technology. You will never be able to look at your boss the same way now that you know what he looks like playing Angry Birds on the can. You were thinking about getting a new job, anyway.

Say it don’t spray it, amiright? But sometimes your mouth doesn’t get that message and sprays it all over the place when you have this hilarious story to tell. They probably didn’t even notice that drop of your spit landing on their upper lip. Nope, they noticed. Just ignore them wiping your spittle away and finish the story like nothing happened. They will soon be too distracted by laughter to care about your juicy germs.

1. Soul Patches

The soul patch is, arguably, the most illogical of all 90’s trends. The chin strap beard, while stupid, clearly said, “I do too have a chin. I outlined it in my face hair. See?” The goatee wordlessly declared, “I’m an assh*le!” So what did a soul patch say? “The only thing I follow more religiously than minor league baseball is trends involving confused displays of masculinity.” If you ever had a soul patch, please take a moment to stew in your shame. If you still have a soul patch, you’ve got a little barbecue sauce in there.

2. JNCOs

Perhaps it was because of all of the Skip-It related chafing wounds, or just a general fondness for the feel of perpetually filthy shreds of fabric flopping against your calves, but, in the 90’s, nothing was cooler than going to Kohl’s with your mom to buy a fly new pair of JNCOs. WAS, being the operative word. We can all agree now that the circumference of your “pipes” should not exceed the length of your inseam. It just looks stupid. It doesn’t matter how many yo-yo’s you had stashed in there; no one needs that much room in their pants.

3. Leather Pants

No one who was over the age of 11 at any point in the 90’s made it through the decade without wondering, “Could I pull off leather pants?” The answer, ubiquitously, was, “No,” but Ricky Martin, Crazy Spice, and the actresses on Charmed were unrelenting in their desire to make leather pants last. In the end, the insane dry cleaning bills and the fact that you can’t take anyone in leather pants seriously defeated this terrible trend. Just in case: no. You can’t pull off leather pants. Don’t try to bring them back. No.

Roll over the pictures to see what she’s really saying…