See more pictures of  Ardith after the jump!

My guest this week is Dan Hopper. As one third of A Week of Kindness, Dan has been seen in many hilarious videos including Guitar Hero Hidden Tracks. He's also the proprietor of the music blog Band Madness.

TALKING POINT - You just bet someone your life you can beat them in Street Fighter 2. Who do you play as?

Dan: Blanka. If my life is at stake, I'm going to be too nervous to do Ryu's fireball correctly.

HOI!

Dan: It's hard to see that hundred-hand slap coming if you're blind, deaf, and facing away from the machine.

Jeff: Did you know he does more damage per-punch than anyone in the game?

Dan: That's like saying Manute Bol is the tallest, and therefore best, basketball player.

Jeff: Well if I wanted to win, I think I'd go with Guile. It's been fifteen years since Street Fighter II came out, and scientists have yet to develop a successful defense against the slow-sonic-boom/fierce-punch combo.

Dan: Is yelling "That's cheap!" permitted in this life-and-death match?

Jeff: Definitely, though I would rather die than live with the dishonor of being cheap.

Dan: That's Lao Tzu, right? A terrific philosophy that applies to life as well. And GoldenEye. If you had to pick a game to bet your life on against someone, what would it be?

Jeff: Super Puzzle Fighter II.

Dan: Wow, no wonder this other person wants you dead.

Jeff: It's such a fantastic game, but very few people play it. I have never really gotten a chance to see how good I am, and entering a deadly tournament seems like the easiest way to find out.

Dan: I'd take Dr. Mario. If someone is able to beat me at that game, it means they're such an off-the-charts nerd that I could then just beat them up afterwards and not have to lose my life.

Well friends, it's May and the school year is coming to a close.  Sadly, we all know what that means: crappy internships, sh*tty jobs, or worse yet: GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE.

(everyone vomit together)

But seriously, your life could be worse.  You could be one of the famous celebs - Luke Wilson, Jessica Simpson, Andy Dick - in this totally heinous trainwreck of a rom-com.  I'm not sure what's scarier - that this flick cost the price of a movie ticket to make or  that Jessica Simpson looks like a stumpy, transsexual dwarf.  Regardless, remind me to stop chasing my dreams to fall in love - ALWAYS a bad idea!  [Source: WWTDD]

If you're looking for a date who's ready for a mid-movie makeout, look no further - Lindsay Lohan is searching for a boy toy.  LiLo was spotted carrying around a self help book written by Desperate Housewife Felicity Huffman, that details how to land and keep a boyfriend.  Unfortunately for her, it does not specify what to do when pictures of you snorting coke show up all over the internet.  [Source/picture: CelebSlam, DListed]

1. This is exactly what I imagined college to be like...all dudes, half naked in a dimly lit basement.
   
2. How far down does this thong have to be so people can tell I Nair the pubies?
   
3. Been working out at the gym 24/7. Went misting the other day too. Can you tell? Plus, I just ordered a shield and spear on Ebay.  Oh man, I'm such a Spartan.
   
4. Hahah, I'm not even looking at the camera!!! This is CRAZY!  I'll take off my clothes dude, but the skull cap and cowrie shell necklace stay...it's the source of my power!
   
5. Nows as good time as any to flex. Facebook this. IMMEDIATELY!
6. I was the kid in middle school who didn't take his shirt off at pool parties.

Choo-choo! The Excuse Train has pulled into the station. Um, Monday - Wednesday I was at home, and my internet doesn't work very well there, and plus I don't know what time Idol is actually on. So I didn't watch it until about an hour ago. Also my dog kept catching baby bunnies and I had to keep taking them back to their nest. It was an exciting and tumultuous time. Especially for the bunnies.

Barry Gibb was the mentor this week, and he's probably the coolest person in the entire world. Case in point: He was totally fine with everything Blake did, unlike previous mentors, who have been all, "Blake, why you gotta be fucking up my song with your mouth garbage?" Also Simon was wearing a WHITE shirt. What the hell?! Oh, also everyone sings twice, because really, why not?

1. Melinda - "Love You Inside And Out"
I love her inside and out. She's so precious. It wasn't the best thing ever, and I know I sound like Paula here, but honestly, who cares? People are going to vote for Melinda no matter what she does.

2. Blake - "You Should Be Dancing"
Blake beat boxed on this song, and Randy was all, "Yo, dog, you ain't gotta beat box every time, dog." Which I sort of agree with. I'm not sure what else Blake has going for him at this point (besides being the only white person and the only boy and the only one who's different from the other three.... Oh.), but it seemed superfluous in this song.

3. LaKisha - "Stayin' Alive"
I thought she did a really good job on this. The judges hated it, and as usual, she ignored the advice of her mentor, but as I was listening to it, I thought that it would actually work as a decent cover. Like, I could picture people dancing to it in some sort of strange Idol Meets the 1970s club.

4. Jordin - "To Love Somebody"
I love her dress. I wish she wasn't wearing it with a pair of jeans. Oh well, she's only 17. She'll learn how to dress herself later, I guess. Also she totally cleaned up with this song.

5. Melinda - "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart"
It was very nice. Not awesome, but ever since "My Funny Valentine," she's pretty much been coasting on very nice, so that's fine.

6. Blake - "This is Where I Come In"
I love the way Blake dresses. He's so nerdy cool, and his singing style is so 80s, and his dancing is so awesome. I want to go to gay clubs with him. Or I would, if I didn't hate gay people so much. (I'm basically kidding. Gay people are harmless.) I thought this was kind of boring, really, but it had some nice colorful lights.

7. LaKisha - "Run to Me"
Judge Judy was in the audience! And that's all I remember about this one. Except that LaKisha's dress looked totally r.tarded.

8. Jordin - "Woman in Love"
Jordin is really fucking gorgeous. The song wasn't awesome. It sounded a lot better in rehearsal with B.G. Still, I suspect that Jordin will win this whole thing.

AND NOW FOR ELIMINATIONS!!!!!
LaKisha and Blake (sporting a very classy tuxedo t-shirt) were the bottom two, and obviously LaKisha is going home, not just because she always looks bored and never moves her top lip and is fat, but probably also because there are two other people here who do exactly what she does, only slightly better. Sorry "KiKi." We'll miss you.