"From Pieces to Weight" Excerpts I Doubt 50 Cent Actually Wrote

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 15:44:58 -0500

<table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> I just finished reading 50 Cent's memoir, From Pieces to Weight, which recounts his life as a crack dealer and upstart rapper. The ghostwriter makes a valiant effort to replicate 50's voice throughout, with passages such as Seeing my grandfather cry was like watching one of those horror movies where a statue or a painting comes to life. I was like, that's not supposed to happen sounding as if 50 himself were actually the person typing it. Other times, not so much. I have a really hard time believing that Fiddy wrote the following passages:

Childhood on the mean streets of Queens wasn't like those perfect happy families you see on TV. Shit was arduous.

I hated school. I realized early on the only math I needed was calculating how to cut my coke. (You use the quadratic formula.)

Mom was dead. Oy vey.

Life in the hood. If a drive-by doesn't kill you, the ennui will.

I used to roll my eyes when Grandaddy would recount his favorite sonnets from memory. Only now do I realize it's where I picked up the meter employed on my Ja Rule dis track "I Smell Pussy."

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:539238"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/4/collegehumor.19c29f6cbe90a962b0fb5b240378dd2b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-02-23 15:44:58 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:539238">Jarrett Grode</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 49 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

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Fri, 23 Feb 2007 13:43:12 -0500

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/9/collegehumor.a53793ecf48193f7f17979c9baa80605.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-02-23 13:43:12 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279">Jeff Rubin</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:215"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 222 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />

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"From Pieces to Weight" Excerpts I Doubt 50 Cent Actually Wrote

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