CollegeHumor: 9/11 Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733825 Tragedy Strikes Wed, 13 Jun 2007 21:08:29 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1733825 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> April 1st, 10:18 AM

911 Operator - 911.  What's your emergency.

Kid - You have to help me!

911 Operator - Calm down, young man.  What is your emergency?

Kid - It's my dad, he's hurt really bad!

911 Operator - I'm dispatching an ambulance right now.  Can you tell me how he got hurt?

Kid - He got into an argument with our neighbor, Seymour Butts, and then Mr. Butts hit my dad with a hammer and they both fell down.  My dad is bleeding a lot.  Mr. Butts is bleeding too.  You've gotta help me. 

911 Operator - You think this is funny?  Crank calling 911?

Kid - Please ma'am.  He's shaking a little now.  Please.

911 Operator - I get it, kid.  I get it.  You and your little friends probably sat around and thought about this for a while.  "Hmmm," you said to yourselves, "what should we do for April Fools day."  And then one of you little brats said, "hey, let's crank call 911." 

Kid - He's turning white.  Really white.  Please.

911 Operator - HA!  I'm not falling for that.  You know it's against the law to place a false call to 911?  Did you know that, you little turd?

Kid - Daddy?  Oh my god, Daddy? 

911 Operator - I don;t make a lot of money, ok?  I've got an apartment to pay for and a piece of crap car, so I don't need this sh*t, you got it? I already got crank calls about a fire, two rapes and a stabbing today and they were wayyyyy more convincing than you. 

Kid - I want my mommmy, I want my mommy, I want my mommy...

911 Operator - And I want a raise.  Hope your April Fool's Day prank was worth it. 

The 911 Operator hangs up. 

Kid (to friends) - Hahaha, she totally bought it!

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.7d8b975affed1e53fc3e6afa6f0a2364.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-06-13 21:08:29 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:239">Streeter Seidell</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:271"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 33 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />