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        <title>CollegeHumor: Aliza Shvarts  Articles This Month</title>
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	<title>Aliza Shvarts Breaks Up with her Boyfriend</title>
	<pubDate>Wed, 23 Apr 2008 03:47:41 -0400</pubDate>
	<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1753660</link>
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    		<![CDATA[<p><br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: Can we talk?<br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Sure.<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: I think we should break up?<br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: For real?<br /></p><p><b>Aliza:</b>Well, I can't really tell you if this is real or not. The nature ofthis break-up doesn't consist of any certainties, you know? <br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Stop talking like that and just tell me, are you really breaking up with me or not?!<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: I can't! It's impossible to accurately identify the break-up. I'm sorry.<br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: (sigh)So, I guess we're over?<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: Yes. But fictitiously. And factually, too. Our break-up, in a sense, is a long narrative of truthful lies.  <br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: What? What do you mean?<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: I'm sorry, but I have to stay ambiguous for the sake...of the break-up. <br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Wait, is this one of your "art" projects?! I told you from the beginning: don't involve 'us' in your 'art.' That's my deal breaker!<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: I'm not! I don't love you anymore. It's  over.<br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Fine. This better be real though because I'm going to tell people.<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: Fine. Good<br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Oh...wait a minute. I get it! You're just telling me we're breaking up soI can tell EVERYONE about it. But really, the actual break-up will bethe product of everyone's reaction to this pseudo break-up. Nice try, but I'm not falling for it.<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: Don't try to understand me, baby. You're not smart enough.<br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Sorry.  So...are we still together?<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: Yes, but just as a concept. <br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Can I f*ck you later?<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: Yes. Except the vagina as a receiver of the dick is a total myth, so we'll have to experiment.<br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Cool.<br /></p><p><b>Aliza</b>: Hey sweetie, will you grab that plastic over there and lay it out on the floor so I can bleed on it?<br /></p><p><b>Boyfriend</b>: Yeah, no problem. Wait...for "real?" <br /><br /><a href="http://www.courant.com/news/local/hc-yaleart0423.artapr23,0,3218278.story" mce_href="http://www.courant.com/news/local/hc-yaleart0423.artapr23,0,3218278.story">http://www.courant.com/news/local/hc-yaleart0423.artapr23,0,3218278.story</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.yaledailynews.com/articles/view/24559" mce_href="http://www.yaledailynews.com/articles/view/24559">http://www.yaledailynews.com/articles/view/24559</a><br /></p></>
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    		Written 2008-04-23 03:47:41    			 by &#60;a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:238">Mindy Raf&#60;/a>
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