CollegeHumor: Baseball Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761659 Alex Rodriguez: Always Clutch at the Wrong Time Thu, 04 Sep 2008 18:39:31 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761659 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is often derided by the media for coming through when situations are no longer important, i.e. hitting a homerun when his team is up or down by eight runs.

Arod - Honey, kids, dinner is ready! I made chop suey!

Wife - I'm in our room!

Arod - Dinner's ready. Where are the kids? Wait, why are you in bed?

Wife - It's 11 o'clock. The kids are asleep and I'm reading before I also go to bed.

Arod - What about dinner?

Wife - You said you were going to cook, but then you just stared meekly at the stove in silence for six hours. We ordered Dominoes.

Arod - Oh, wow.

Wife - Yeah.

Arod- I'm very sorry Madonna.

Wife - What'd you call me?

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1726647"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/1/collegehumor.6381c1d35a6d6ba0b661f0b1d08aae7b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-09-04 18:39:31 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1726647">kyle swartz</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 25 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759048 Less Common Baseball Sex Terms Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:21:37 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759048 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Sunday Baseball: An Afternoon Delight
We all know of the standard second base, third base, etc. when describing different kinds of sexual endeavors, but there are many other baseball terms that are used more rarely to describe these kinds of acts. For instance:

Sacrifice Fly: A term describing the act of "taking one for the team". You sacrifice your dignity and get with a below average friend of a girl so that he can score.

First Base Coach: This represents your wingman. Once you get to first, he advises you to either make your way to second or stop at first if he knows you won't make it.

Check Your Swing: This symbolizes being about to get with a girl, but then at the last moment decide that it's not a good idea, and that you'll try your chances when a better girl/pitch comes along.

Fielder's Choice: This term comes into play when 2 guys are both trying to get with the same girl, and you know that she is going to throw one of them out and one is going to reach base.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1328040"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/3/collegehumor.91e0acec2f6fc184dcac808329183544.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-14 22:21:37 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1328040">Tommy</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:205"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 300 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754231 A Different Perspective: Angels in Their Outfield Wed, 30 Apr 2008 18:30:24 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754231 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> As the manager of the 1994 Chicago White Sox, I'm gonna have to call malarkey on this one.

Oh yeah. Reeeal fair.
Listen: we're not the Yankees or anything. We don't have a huge payroll with which to buy the best players. We don't have a lot of supportive fans. Hell, we're our own city's second favorite baseball team! How many teams can say that? Maybe us and the Mets, but that's about it. The point is, we're not bad guys here. We're supposed to be the underdog team with a Cinderella story.

Then, out of nowhere, the Angels out in California broke their 0-62 losing streak. Good for them, I thought. They were beyond bad. They were abyssmal. Their owner sold off most of their good, young prospects for coke money, their most dedicated fan abandoned his child, and in a wild publicity stunt, they hired Danny Glover to coach their team. The point is, they could use a win. They didn't really deserve a win, but you had to feel a little bad for them.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/8/collegehumor.6eb639fd06721655a3e45cf8154fb0a4.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-04-30 18:30:24 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1549923">Andrew B.</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:156"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 23 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />