CollegeHumor: Business Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792186 Frat Merger Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792186 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
CLASSIC MOOSE!
Jack: Alright you guys, listen up.

Gasinator: Pfffbbbbb! Ugh. Who beefed?

Jack: Not now, Gasinator, this is important. As you guys know, these are difficult times. Party attendance has declined steadily since the release of the Wii, and the current economic climate isn't helping. Our last Golf Pros and Tennis Hos party only brought in $23, and Moose accidentally bought a giant sandwich with it.

Squiggy: CLASSIC MOOSE!

Jack: The bottom line is that we no longer have the money to continue as a fraternity, which is why we're merging with Lambda Nu.

Burly: Lambda Nu? We hate those assholes.

Gasinator: Pfffbbbbb! Oh man. Someone just ripped ass.

Markowitz: Chill out, Burly. Those are our brothers you're talking about. We're all one big frat now. The biggest frat on campus, right? This could be great.

Jack: Not exactly. We're going to have to let a lot of you go.

The Omega Chi's shift uncomfortably.

Jack: Old Mike, you've been with Omega Chi for nine years, deftly avoiding graduation time and time again.

Old Mike smiles proudly.

Jack: But the Lambda Nu's have a guy that's been here for 13 years. I'm sorry. You're being replaced by Old Steve.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.aefefba05adec0eb158d18dd8d36a1b2.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-09-29 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 136 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1720380 Staff Meeting: Hollister Clothing Designers Wed, 21 Feb 2007 14:54:04 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1720380 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Jim: We all know why we're here... We need some new ideas for this year's winter line. So everybody put on your thinking skull-caps and gimme some good ones! First up- t-shirts.

Sharon: How about we write "Hollister" in a contrasting color on the front?

Jim: I love it! Next- long sleeve tees.

Roger: Um, we could write "Hollister" on the front and...

Jim: What? no. You're retarded.

Manny: How about we write "Hollister" on the front in cursive?

Jim: That's what I'm talkin' about! Pajama pants- go!

Manny: I'm thinking "Hollister" written across the butt.

Sharon: With "California" below it in a smaller font?

Manny: Naturally.

*everyone high fives*

Jim: Yes! We are in the zone!

Roger: These ideas are all the same.

Jim: You're fired. Get out.

Roger: What?

Jim: Roger, get out of my office.

Roger: We're not in your office. This is a conference room.

Jim: Don't correct me! I'm the Chairman of the Surfboard here, not you! ...Leave your trucker hat with the receptionist on your way out.

Roger: Fine. I hate it here anyway. Oh and by the way, none of you tools have ever touched a surfboard!

Manny: Come on, man. Don't embarrass yourself.

Roger: No, Manny! This is Columbus, Ohio. NO ONE SURFS HERE! You hear me?! No one! ... no one... no... *crying*

*silence*

Jim: ...Well this is uncomfortable. I'm gonna take a break to change my leather wrist band and maybe get some fresh puka shells around my neck. We'll meet back here in 20 minutes to discuss hoodie season.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:37156"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/0/collegehumor.6d6f337955832e6deadc12c080da61c4.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:37156">Thomas</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:377"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 123 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1741346 Oral Sex: The Business Plan Wed, 26 Sep 2007 19:54:22 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1741346 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1193759"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/c/collegehumor.febd6079991e3c1f0cec5d8ca4345b31.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1193759">FunBox Comedy</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 97 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />