CollegeHumor: Campus Tour Guide Articles This Month http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1730313 The Honest Campus Tour Guide Wed, 09 May 2007 22:02:32 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1730313 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> [upload:1314356:small:left:Here's another building I don't give a sh*t about!]Welcome, prospective students. I'm here to show you a very superficial version of what your life could be like for the next four years because I need the money. I don't actually care if you come here. I might say I do, but seriously, who the f*ck are you? Man, I'm hung over.

To your left is the library. You'll spend a lot of time there pretending to study while you're actually on Facebook. It's a lot harder to study in a large area full of people than it is to study in your quiet bedroom. But you're not there to study, you're there to pick up chicks. Oh, and freshman year you'll have some teacher who gives you a project that involves finding specific books so you can learn about how the library works, as if you'll ever actually read a book instead of plagiarizing off the web. Whatever.

To your right, you'll see the dining hall. There, your parents will pony up $13 a meal for you to have overcooked pasta and wilted lettuce. You will complain about how bad the food is, but still steal as much of it as you can.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:225"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/f/6/collegehumor.ad937b4f074bca543727e036e28b33e7.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-05-09 22:02:32 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:225">Steve Hofstetter</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:53"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 132 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />